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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Urge... - July 9th 2011, 12:39 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

The urge to self harm is so powerful. Does this ever end? No matter what I am doing or where I am, or even who I am with, a lot of the time I am thinking about SH or my scars or even about what the world would be like without me here. I don't even know why I feel like this so often but I am miserable doing just about everything. Living has become miserable. I know this is selfish but, why me? My family is so different. I always feel like the outsider. I guess I just wanted to know if these feelings ever go away. I just don't even know what to do anymore.
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 01:21 AM

I know exactly what you mean. The urges can be incredibly difficult to get through. And it seems like sometimes they are never ending. In my experience, it seems like the longer I go without self-harm, the worse they tend to get. But eventually, they get easier to get through. But that's just my own experience. And I've often thought about some of those same things. Like no one else in my family deals with their problems like this, why did I have to end up in this situation. It seems like it's kind of normal to have those questions, though. It's hard, but don't give up.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 01:24 AM

The urges come and go... As time passes they get lesser and weaker...but they remain. I dont know if your religeous but when I ask myself why me, I finally found the answer. Why you? Because God knows you are strong enough to handle it. You can do this. When you feel an urge check out these alternatives: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/
they helped me!

Good luck! PM me if u ever need to talk! <3


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by justfallinginlove View Post
Why you? Because God knows you are strong enough to handle it.
I love that and completely agree. It can be so hard sometimes to believe that in these times of strong urges, but it's so true!


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 01:48 AM

Some help and some don't. Thanks though for the advice. I try to believe but it is very hard for me... :/
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 02:19 AM

I know it can be hard, it's difficult for me to tell you that it can get easier, because for some people the urges only fade a bit.

Remember that you're stronger than any addiction you may have, and you can make it through this. I believe in you, as do a lot of other people.

<3
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 02:36 AM

Thank You Maddie. I am trying so hard but I keep failing at not doing it. I did it on my birthday which was Monday and then again earlier today. The urge has gotten to be unbearable.
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 02:44 AM

I agree completely with you, Maddie. The urges fade differently for everyone. So it's hard to tell someone how it'll be for them, personally. But don't give up on yourself and your progress. It's not this easy process. It's something that takes time. And don't beat yourself up about doing it again. I've found that it only makes matters worse when you beat yourself up. But we're all supporting you through this!


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 03:05 AM

Yeah I know I have all of you for support but no one in my everyday life cares. I am trying to stay positive. Thanks for being here and being supportive
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 04:21 AM

I know how you feel. Its an incredibly hard thing to overcome. But you can do it. Just take it one day at a time. What really helps me is wearing a tight (not too tight, like not to cut off the circulation) rubber band. and not just a hair band but an actual rubber one. And every time i get an urge i snap the rubber band on my wrist fairly hard. Its not the same feeling but it helps. Do you have a friend you can trust to talk to? It may be someone completely unexpected, like for me its my ex boyfriend. He's always there if I need that support. Keep an open mind and think about who you could talk too. Stay strong my dear. <3


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 10:31 AM

Thank you. I do have one friend I can talk to but Idk anymore. I feel like this is all that our relationship has become.
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 04:49 PM

I see what you mean... Yeah I try hard not to let that consume the relationship with my one friend that I talk to about it as well. Try to alternate talking about whats bothering you with say something u have in common. Maybe count in your head. 1 thing bothering me, 1 thing in common, 1 thing bothering me, 1 thing in common...etc.


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 05:21 PM

Yeah we kind of do that. We both love horses so we talk about them but it's like we want to talk about our problems to each other, and not doing it now makes it seem kind of fake. Does that make sense?? It's hum.... If we are talking and trying to get our mind off of things that upset us and we are being happy it feels wrong. To both of us I think. She knows I am not really happy and I know all the same with her.
   
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Re: Urge... - July 9th 2011, 10:30 PM

Yes! I know EXACTLY what you mean. I just hadn't ever really been able to describe it. Im just so used to faking it so ya know I guess Im used to it. You can have different friends for different things, i know i do. Let her be your friend that you can be real with and talk to and she can talk to you too. Thats a really great thing to have in someone ya know? And you can always share your love of horses and not have to be fake such beautiful animals... <3


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 10th 2011, 01:55 AM

Yeah. Though I myself have trouble making friends... people tend to find me odd That is how I make friends lol my horse... She starts a lot of conversations for me
   
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Re: Urge... - July 10th 2011, 02:51 AM

Odd can be good. I myself am odd, but so is my whole group of friends. Very artsy, slightly emo, and odd. its great find people like that, theyre awesome haha heck uve found me! :P And sounds like youve got a great best friend in your horse. What does she look like?


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 10th 2011, 03:51 PM

haha my friends are very odd we complete each other.
I do have a great friend in my horse. no matter what she can Usually make me happy. She is a Bay quarter horse mare and she is now 15'2 hands She Is beautiful... I might be a little biased lol I have pics of her on my page. you should befriend me
   
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Re: Urge... - July 10th 2011, 04:48 PM

Aw and her name is Destiny! Shes beautiful!!! Okay so I friended you or accepted or something, not sure if i did it right haha


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 10th 2011, 05:15 PM

haha Yes her name is Destiny. She is my sweet mare I would be nothing without her. She saves me every single day...
   
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Re: Urge... - July 11th 2011, 05:00 AM

Thats so incredible!! Do you compete or just love to ride?


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 11th 2011, 12:56 PM

I actually compete we do hunter jumping and even try our hand at barrel racing. She is my good luck charm. She always places ( so far) in every show she has been in
   
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Re: Urge... - July 11th 2011, 05:02 PM

Wow!! She's a really good horse then! And you must be a fantastic rider!


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 11th 2011, 07:57 PM

Nah lol I'm average. She is my baby though. I trained her when she was three. She is now 7 I love her to death.
   
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Re: Urge... - July 12th 2011, 06:51 PM

Your more than average Shana


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 12th 2011, 06:56 PM

thanks... I think. lol You are an amazing person! Always helping people.
   
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Re: Urge... - July 12th 2011, 07:47 PM

I try my best! thanks


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: Urge... - July 13th 2011, 12:23 AM

I just wanted to say yes the urges get less and less stronger over a course of time but you just have to stay strong<3 you can do it
   
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Re: Urge... - July 13th 2011, 01:07 AM

I didn't really read over every reply in this, so I don't know if I'll be repeating what has already been said.

Eventually, the urges should get less over time. Do you know what kinds of things trigger you? If you do, you should avoid those things to the best of your ability. Although they should get less over time, it is possible that for them to become a distant background noise, counseling might be beneficial. It could help you identify the things that trigger you, or why you still feel like you do. Not everyone's urges disappear fast, or completely on their own. I suggest counseling of some sort because you seem like it's getting really hard to deal with the urges. I've known many, many, people that self harm(ed). A lot of them were able to just stop, decide to stop and not really have urges. Others could stop, but it was harder and they had to deal with urges quite a bit. Others keep going back, whether they go a month, six months, a year, two years, without it...they always go back. Obviously not everyone fits into those categories, but that is my experience. There is no shame in asking for help either.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
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