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Terry Offline
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Question Question - July 11th 2011, 01:08 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't THINK this is triggering, but I decided to tag it just in case some people would get triggered by this.

Just wondering, I am not thinking of self harming, but had a question related to self harming.

I have self harmed pretty badly in the past, but only perhaps 4 separate occasions (many at a time, all of which were within the span of perhaps 2 weeks and a half to 3 weeks). The first time I legitimately cut due to feeling like crap, but the other 3 were mostly due to liking the rush of endorphins I got from doing it. I haven't self harmed in about a year now, but I was wondering why it was easier for me to stop, yet some people live with urges for the rest of their lives? I'm more so wondering why I'm different than the rest in the sense that after I stopped I never felt like cutting again (i have thought about it, but never needed it or felt physical pain etc from not doing it) even through some very painful episodes of depression.

Thanks for any responses, this has been on my mind for a while.

Self pity will not rescue you.
Sometimes we have to save our own lives,
not because no one else cares, but because no one else can.

Life for you has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt
But how we survive is what makes us who we are.

Dreamed up the maps, give me the charcoal and the paper
We invent paths they cannot see, and they're too scared to walk

Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

Last edited by Terry; July 11th 2011 at 05:11 PM.
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bayhorse321 Offline
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Re: Question - July 11th 2011, 01:16 PM

I am not sure how you could stop so fast and not urge. I can't say that it was because you didn't do it a lot because that isn't the case. You only did it 4 times but It only took 1 time for me to get hooked. You obviously are strong and maybe the will power of never wanting to do it again was enough for you. Idk. I am trying to stop myself and feel the urges a lot sometimes.
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Re: Question - July 13th 2011, 05:38 AM

I know that so far I've had the same experience. I SH'd for about six or seven months, but it was only about twenty or so actual cuts that were made. But about a month and a half ago I was hospitalized cuz I went too deep, so, obviously, my parents found out. So, since then, I've had a few cravings, but nothing toooooo serious.

Sometimes I feel kinda guilty cuz I feel like I got off easy, but I know I should be kinda thankful. Dunno.
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hand4hand Offline
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Re: Question - July 13th 2011, 07:52 AM

I'v been SH on and off for a few years i mannaged almost 2 years free and the urges have always been there, i'v only done it a few times since but i would really like advice on how to stop the urges because like you i dont desire the physical pain im not sure why i did/do it but i cant seem to stop thinking about it.
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Re: Question - July 13th 2011, 07:56 AM

I think it's different for everybody. For some people, it becomes their life. Others, it is something that they do once, and get over it. It's the same way with any addiction, for example, some people can drink alcohol on occasion without an issue, others can't go a day, or an hour without a drink. I guess it depends on the person.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
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