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9Lives Offline
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Does it ever stop? - July 21st 2011, 03:30 PM

I've been SH-free for about 2months++. And I've been getting the urges to do it again.

I've been here before. I'll stop for some weeks, or a month or two and then I get the urges. Not just once, but they seem to just keep coming for a couple of days non-stop until I'm so tired of fighting it, then I end up cutting again. It's like a cycle. Most of the times, I don't even know what triggered it, the urges doesn't seem to leave my thoughts once it's come.

Does it ever stop? The urges? Even after being SH-free for months or even years? Does the urge to SH ever stop? Or is it something that's just always going to be there no matter how long I've stopped?

I do want to stop. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. And I wish I''m strong enough to handle it each time, but I'm not. And I'm tired of trying so hard to quit if I'm just going to get the urge to do it again a couple months/weeks later.


"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars."
-Khalil Gibran-

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles."
-Charles Chaplin-
   
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Re: Does it ever stop? - July 21st 2011, 04:42 PM

Hey there,
Firstly, well done for going 2 months free, such an achievement!!
I don't think the urges ever go away completely, it feels like it's always going to be in the back of my head. Its probably because we use it as a coping strategy, and when we are struggling we automatically think about SH as it has helped before. Plus you can just miss it. I do quite a lot and i'm nearly 4 months free. I don't always have urges because i'm stressed, but because I was so used to cutting every day it feels weird without it now.
Every time the urges come, try to challenge them. Ask yourself "is there anything else I could do?", "do I really need to SH right now?", tell yourself that you can get through it. It's incredibly true that telling yourself you can do it, makes you just do it!
I'm a pm away if you need me
xx
   
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Re: Does it ever stop? - July 21st 2011, 07:02 PM

I don't know how to stop SH...I just started doing it about 5 months ago and it makes me feel good. My mom saw my scars and she just yelled at me about. She's one of the main reasons I tried to kill myself 3 months ago. I was in st.lukes for a month and it didnt help at all. I eded up cutting even while I was there. Everyone there was still hurtful and mean and I just wanted to stay in my room all the time, all the kids there were there for behavorial problems...I didn't want to go to groups with them, I didn't want to hear what they had to say about me or to hear them laugh like everyone else does. I'm so depressed and I just don't know what to do. Please help me
   
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Re: Does it ever stop? - July 22nd 2011, 02:31 AM

I know what you mean about the urges becoming really hard to deal with. I'm kinda in that same boat right now too. But I have no idea about how long it might take for the urges to stop, if they ever do. I think after time, they'll become less and less strong, but I doubt there will ever be a time when they're completely out of the picture. I feel that it's something that affects each person differently and the timing will be different for each person.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: Does it ever stop? - July 22nd 2011, 03:07 AM

They become less frequent. Occasionally, they will hit you strong again, but if you get through the storm once, it gets easier everytime <3 (experience)
   
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