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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
*MusicIsMyLife* Offline
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Unhappy I want to cut..... - July 25th 2011, 02:51 AM

I really want to cut. I think it is my only option right now. It is my birthday today and no one even cares. None of my family or friends care. People keep pushing me away. My parents don't care about me at all, they don't even care that it's my birthday all they care about are my siblings. The only person that cares that it's my birthday is my older sister. There is so much negativity going on.

I have really low self esteem. I keep putting myself down. I think that I am stupid, UGLY, FAT, a loser and a FAILURE!! Everytime I look into the mirror I see all of those things. I also have no confidence in myself. I can't hold on any longer.

I am trying so hard to handle all of this pain but it is not working. It just keeps getting more worse. I just think that if I cut today then everyone will be happy and I would have hurt myself on my birthday!!

I am having the worst birthday ever. No one cares. My friends don't even care all they do is make fun of me by calling me really mean names such as stupid, ugly, fat, a loser, a loner and a failure. I am beginning to think that all of these things are true. My friends also keep on telling me that everyone hates me and that no one would ever be my friend and that they are friends with everyone so everyone will listen to everything that they say.

My parents don't even care about me at all. All they care about are my siblings. My parents hate me and they wish I never existed. I feel really lonely and unloved. I do have an older sister but she doesn't live at home and we get along but I am scared to talk to her about what has been going on.

I just think that cutting will make everything all better and that everyone will be happy. My friends also keep on pushing me around.

All I want is for someone to listen to me and not ignore me or push me away like alot of people do. I just think that everyone wants me gone and then they won't have to listen to me.


“Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.”
― Taylor Swift
   
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Haylee. Offline
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 25th 2011, 05:38 AM

first of all i want to say that you are loved! and you are beautiful and special in your own way. You are a beautiful person and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. No matter what people say and no matter what people do you need to know that the unkind selfish things that they say arnt at all true. you must believe that.

I know somewhat how you feel and I know it's hard to deal with the pain inside...And i'm going through alot right now so it's hard for me to know what to say but i do know this, that cutting is not the answer. nor is suicide.

I really do think that you should talk to your sister. I believe that that is the first step you must take to getting better.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 25th 2011, 07:38 PM

I think you need to find new friends and walk away from the negativity that is keeping you so depressed, if you can't find something positive in it then walk away from it. If looking in the mirror upsets you then put them away for a while, if your friends are being horrible then walk away from them, you don't need them, they're not your friends. I suggest you start trying to build a relationship with your parents, talk to them and try to open up to them. I don't think they they don't care at all.





"When it comes down to it I let them think what they want, if they care enough to bother with what I do then I'm already better than them." Marilyn Monroe.
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 25th 2011, 08:34 PM

First off, Happy Belated Birthday. We all have those off Birthdays every once in a while. It's unfortunate but it happens. You just have to hope that the next one will be better.

I know that with negativity around you it's hard to deal with things and you may find it difficult to be happy but try to relax and breathe. Self harm is a vicious cycle and it's not going to do much for you. It may seem like it will relax you but in the long run it's only hurting you so please don't resort to that. Take a walk, keep a journal, take a long shower and listen to some music. I can assure you that you are not ugly, a loner, or a loser. Those people are pushing their own insecurities on you and that is highly immature of them. Try to stay strong and resist the urge to cut. Writing helps me a lot when I feel the need to cut and listening to music or taking a long walk can help clear my mind. I wish you the best and if you need to talk feel free to PM me. (:
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 25th 2011, 09:47 PM

Firstly: If those kids are telling you all those mean things. they are definitely Not your friends. Don't listen to there negativity. You are not what they are telling you. All you have to do is find a new group of kids who are interested in the same things that you are.

You are definitely loved. You should talk to your sister and your parents and tell them how you feel. You may think that your parents don't care, but you maybe are mis-understanding. You need to talk to them.

Cutting is never ever the answer. Period. No matter how bad you think you have it, there is never any need to hurt yourself and make it worse. You are beautiful, and hurting yourself is not gonna make you any prettier. You are just gonna leave scars that you will have to explain to your spouse/kids. Sweetie, you don't want that.

You may also wanna try talking to a counselor. They know what's going on in your head and can definitely help you. Try this out. Also, you should check out the "Alternatives to self harm" page ((http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/) Not all of the solutions may work for you, but some of them will!

PM me if you ever need to talk!!


If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
~St. Clement of Alexandra
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 25th 2011, 10:47 PM

Rebecca,

I'm so sorry all of this has been going on. You should start making new friends. Those friends are making you worse then helping you recover. Sometimes it seems like cutting is the only way out and the only thing that will make things better. Remember that feeling you get after cutting? The shame? And the "oh crap what have I done?" Moment? Always remember that. It's not worth it. It's not worth inflicting pain on yourself when so many around you already do that. Stand up for yourself! Tell them you aren't all those things! Keep your head held high! It'll be okay, I promise.

Jenn



Don't you know you're lovely?
Jenn <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 26th 2011, 06:48 AM

To start off. Cutting yourself will not help you. Often times it ends up making peoples problems worse. I think that you should open up to whoever you feel comfortable with. Like your sister for instance, i bet she would be more than happy to help you get through this. You guys are sisters, forever. Your parents... have you ever told them how you felt? Maybe you should have a conversation with your parents about this. If you are just way to uncomfortable doing that, maybe you could get a therapist. Everything is confidential and the therapist could help you get through this and talk to you about how to talk to your parents and maybe even have a conversation with your therapist and your parents so they know its serious. I doubt that your parents hate you. You are their daughter and they love you no matter what. It is just one of those things that is like no question. There is always love between parents and children, no matter what the circumstance. About the people your age at school. If they are doing things that are really hurtful, they are just nasty people inside and out. Usually people just do that over jealousy or just to be a bully. Bullies never win. In 10 or 20 years you will look back at this time and know that they didn't make it to your future for a reason, and their future is probably horrible if they treat people like that. You are the good person. I know it hurts to hear all of those bad things, but you just have to learn to get through it and to just say "wow they have no life" or "thats not true" or "i am who i want to be". You should be who you want to be and not how others want you to be. good people will love you for who you are and won't care or want to care about any flaws or anything. I hope this helped. I am here for you every step of the way!

Good Luck!
Forever&Always

PS: you always have me to turn to
   
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 26th 2011, 06:51 PM

Hey there,

First I wanted to say that cutting is never the "only option." There are many other options.

Have you ever tried writing about what's going on? Maybe trying to figure out what you can do to make things better for yourself? What I personally would do is eliminate all of the negative impact that is going on. Your "friends" who are calling you all of those things... they're not true friends. You deserve better!

As for the self-esteem issue, try staying away from mirrors so you don't have to have those negative thoughts about yourself.

The people on TeenHelp are all here for you. You ARE loved & beautiful. Whether you want to believe that or not, is up to you. But just know that there's a TON of support here!

Stay strong and I hope you make the right decisions.

x Brittany

P.S. Happy Belated Birthday
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I want to cut..... - July 26th 2011, 07:32 PM

Have you ever heard of The Butterfly Project?? It's something that I do to keep me from cutting myself. Basically, any time you feel the urge to cut, draw a butterfly on your wrist or your hand. Name it after someone you love and care about. You're not allowed to wash the butterfly off. It has to fade naturally. If you cut while the butterfly is still there, you've killed it.
It sounds really stupid, but it honestly does help me. I also agree with what everyone else said. You should surround yourself with friends that give you support and make you feel like the special person you are. Being surrounded by negative energy is only going to make things harder.
If you really feel like you can talk to your sister, I would. It makes things so much easier when you have someone that you can lean on for support.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
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