Triggering (SH): Scissors in hand...help me

[justfallinginlove]

Im sitting on my bathroom floor...Had a really emotional past 2 days...the scissors in my hand...i want to feel the blade drag across my skin...i want a fresh scar to remember this night...i miss the pain of the blade digging into my wrist...im snapping the rubber band but its just not the same...the most powerful urge to date...i just want the feeling of the pain...

[justfallinginlove]

Damnit damnit damnit. i did it again. i hate that i did it again. im so mad at myself. i hate this. i hate it. Please somebody help me please!!! I need someone to help me!!

[SoraKat]

Im here for you. I have love for you, and im reaching out to you. I dont know where you are, but i love you okay? Hold on to love, and hold on to hope.

i know how you feel. And i know it all. Just take a breath, and accept what happened. Know that you want to get through this all, and taht slipping up is okay. And that you KNOW what you want

[justfallinginlove]

I feel like crap for slipping up... thank you so much for your kindness

[SoraKat]

Who doesnt when they slip up? trust me i know how you feel.

[zucks]

No one deserves to feel so bad that they need to hurt themselves even though it happens all the time. Everybody slips up on cutting themselves, even the stronger people - it happens. Just accept what you did for now and know for next time to try and have an alternative than just cutting.
I'm always here if you need to talk. <3

[TheWhiteTornado]

So the other two pretty much have it covered, but just in case a third opinion will help, mistakes and slip-ups happen, and it's good that you're determined to stop, but you can only go so far until it becomes counterproductive. There's love for you here (why would we be helping if we didn't?) and it's infinitely better than a physical addiction, I promise If you need to talk at any given time and it seems like a thread won't be quick enough, message me and I promise I'll keep you company whenever I can!

P.S. You should remove that last bit from your signature as you can, and will, beat it

[justfallinginlove]

sora: i know but i never felt this guilty before i tried to stop...and i was makin progress so i just ughh. Its nice to know u understand. although neither of us did if u know what i mean.
alexa: i know...and it sucks...thanks for being so nice

[SoraKat]

I think that things will look up for you. Have faith in yourself and that you are strong, because i know you are.

[justfallinginlove]

I just feel so guilty. i cant rid the guilt.

[escape_thereal_world]

Hey. I've been cutting for 5 years now. And sometimes I would tell myself I would stop, but I never meant to actually try. A few other times I really meant it.

I've slipped. I slipped the other night for the first time in 2 years. It does suck. A ton. I felt guilty at first, and I still do just a little bit. But then I realized...I'm making myself go in a circle and the circle needs to open up at some point.

I feel guilty/upset - I cut - I feel guilty/upset - Repeat.

Our choice is to keep doing it, or to go ahead and accept the guilt...but move on. You can do this. We slip up. It happens. We accept it, and we go.

It may take 30+ more times, but as long as you KNOW what happened and that you don't want to do it again, it will get easier. It may not ever be perfect, but it will get easier.

Feel free to PM anytime. You can stop. <3
Kelly

[jaclax182b]

dw its ok to slip up... the only thing that keeps me from slipping up is that the first person who helped me would be pissed off if i did it

[*Learningtobreathe*]

i have been cutting for two years now and have a scar on my wrist that says LOVE. the first time i did it it was cause i was angry. thats why my user name is fallenangelofanger. i used to be a sweet blond headed blue eyed angel, but in the last few years i have fallen. i am now a red headed blue eyed fallen angel. i'm angry at the way every person i have tried to love has pushed me away. in order to hold love close to me i started cutting until the word was engraved in my arm. i don't know how to stop and i don't know if i want to. all i can say to you is talk or keep a journal thats wht i do when i start craving cutting

[Maloo]

There's also always the option of counseling. It really helps some people <3

[Le bonheur*]

As others have said, it's OK to slip up. I slipped up for the first time in months yesterday, and today. I felt extremely guilty. Especially hiding it from people. But that's besides the point. It's okay. Just keep trying and never give up. We all love you here. It's so amazing to have unconditional support on here, isn't it? Stay strong hun, if you ever want to talk, PM me! <3

[justfallinginlove]

Thank you guys so much. Its been a week and I'm doing better.

[Kristen1995]

Do you see a therapist/counselor for your addiction to cutting?