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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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chility Offline
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And they don't understand. And it's all going wrong. - July 27th 2011, 11:33 PM

My group of friends found out.
Since then, 4 of them having started cutting/overdosing as forms of self harm. I feel sooo guilty because they only did it because I had and they no longer saw it as a bad thing.
And then my boyfriend has no respect. He asks me if he can check if the cuts are infected, I say no, he still checks. When we are sitting together, he runs his fingers over the cuts, checking. It hurts. He doesn't stop. He thinks he knows best. He doesn't understand. He always asks about them even though I don't want to talk about it.
And none of my friends really understand. My ex cut himself because he saw me with my boyfriend and wondered if he was jealous. I mean - really?! He said he wasn't even upset, but that seemed to be a solution.
Well... well... I just seem to be ruining everyone else's life.
And I can't explain things to people. Someone said ''if my boyfriend/girlfriend did that, I'd dump them straight away.'' It's so hard to stop when everyone thinks like this.

Sighh.. Sorry just needed to rant :/ I'd ask for advice on explaining to my boyfriend that I have rights and he should stop checking the cuts, but I know I'm never going to get him to understand.
   
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Re: And they don't understand. And it's all going wrong. - July 27th 2011, 11:51 PM

He seems like he's just looking out for you. I know how annoying that is, just talk to him about it and see where it goes from there.
   
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Re: And they don't understand. And it's all going wrong. - July 28th 2011, 12:30 AM

He just tells me that he knows best and I have to let him. He does the same with his other friends who self harm. He forces them to show him the scars so he can check if they're infected... even though he has no medical experience, and most of us have first aid experience, etc, so it's offensive that he doesn't trust any of us.
He just doesn't understand self harm in any way, shape or form. It's frustrating, but I'd rather he didn't know about it. He really has given himself a warped and unheatlhy opinion of it.
   
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Re: And they don't understand. And it's all going wrong. - July 28th 2011, 03:15 AM

It sounds like he has good intentions, even if he's going about it the wrong way. If you think or know that he just doesn't get it, calmly explain it to him or suggest that he do some research so that he can help you the right way. Also, you shouldn't feel guilty for what your friends do, they make their own choices and you can't control their behavior.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
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