Do things get easier?

[Resolute Runner]

It seems like I can't go a week without cutting. I wasn't trying to quit before, so whenever I did it didn't matter as much. But now that I'm actually trying I feel 10 times as worse whenever I break. I think I went 2 or 3 days this time :/ The feelings that I tried to stop are gone for right now but now I feel awful for breaking a promise to myself. It seems like if I can make it one week then quitting will be easier.

Do things get easier after the first week/month? Or is it a constant struggle?

[PutYourHeartsUp]

First, don't make a promise to anyone, including yourself, to completely stop. The majority of people that try to stop SH are going to have slip ups and having a promise broken just makes it worse. Dealing with urges, for me, never got much easier but the frequency I had to deal with them DID get less. Everyone is different, so we can't tell you how long it'll take. Even if it gets easier, it's still a struggle especially because your life isn't going to get much easier...you'll just get better at dealing with it. Once your current problems get solved, you'll get more. If you really want to stop, you can as long as you try.

[Victoria ♥]

Hey!

Firstly, i think it’s great that you’ve decided to stop self harming and it’s a really positive decision to make. It does seem like you’re finding things really hard at the moment but you’re doing well trying to fight the urges.

Since each persons experience of self harm is unique, so is each persons recovery. Although it can be difficult to stop at first it should get easier with time and people do usually find it harder in the beginning. It might be useful for you to have a think about the reasons you want to stop, this way if you do feel yourself wanting to self harm you can remind yourself of why you’ve made the decision not to.

Another thing is that you seem disappointed that went back to hurting yourself this week. I don’t know how often you were cutting before you stopped but i think that even going 2/3 days is a great achievement. There will be times when you feel like you need to hurt yourself and there may be times when you do, but that’s completely normal. Instead of seeing it as a bad thing, think of it as a positive achievement that you went 2/3 days! Maybe now you can aim for a bit longer without self harm? Maybe 4/5 days? Another thing you could do is to ‘minimise the damage’. If you do feel like you need to hurt yourself, you could think about cutting less. Maybe you could try halving the amount of cuts you would normally do?

Some things that may make recovery from self harm easier are :

1. Try to address the reasons why you’re self harming. If you can identify certain situations, places, times or events that make you more likely to self harm You may be able to plan ahead to avoid triggering the urge to self harm. This might be particularly helpful whilst you’re starting off trying to stop.
2. Find coping strategies. You might find the alternatives to self harm thread useful. I don’t know if you’ve tried anything different already but it may help. If you look down the list it gives different suggestions depending on how you’re feeling.
3. Talk to people about how you’re feeling. Are you getting any support at the moment? If you have urges it can help to know you’re not alone and there are people there who can listen. Is there an adult you trust who you could talk to? Maybe someone like an aunt, uncle, your parents, a doctor or your school counsellor? I don’t know if you’ve ever had any help from professionals but it’s definitely something worth considering. If you’re unsure whether you want to talk about it then another thing you could try is writing a diary/blog where you can let out how you’re feeling. Alternatively, you could try looking through this list of helplines (clicky here) or you could try talking to a staff member here on TeenHelp either through Live Help or HelpLink. I think the most important thing to remember when you’re trying to stop self-harming is that you’re not alone. There are always people there to talk to and who understand what you’re going through.

Ok, so i’ll stop rambling now

I hope something i’ve said has been helpful.
If you ever want to talk about anything don’t hesitate to PM me.

Believe in yourself!
Vicky

[Resolute Runner]

I know what my triggers are and I can't avoid them. The only thing I've found to kind of work is writing. I can't just sit down and write when I feel like I'm about to explode though. My handwriting is unreadable at that point. Typing my feelings out isn't the same.
I want professional help but that's not an option(parents wont allow). My social anxiety disorder also makes it very hard for me to get help in real life.

[Victoria ♥]

Ok, so if you can't avoid the triggers then it's even more important that you find ways to cope with the feelings they bring. I mentioned alternatives earlier and i still think that would be a good place to start looking. I think it's good that you've found writing helpful in the past. Even if your handwriting is hard to read when you're feeling that way it doesn't matter, the important thing is that it helps. You could try drawing instead if you think you'd find that easier.

Do you know why your parents won't allow you to get professional help? Depending on where you're from it may be possible to access the help without them knowing, if that's something you would want?

Vicky

[Resolute Runner]

I know why and theres no way for me to get professional help without them knowing. Drawing makes me frustrated because I'm so bad at it. I took art last school year and that class made me more frustrated/angry than any other class I've ever taken. From the list the only thing that helps when I'm on the edge is a cold shower. But I can't take a shower in most of these situations. But, this is just turning into me whining and complaining now. Thanks to both of you for taking the time to answer my question, I really appreciate it.

[daisyduck]

I wouldn't say things get easier. At least not right away. You'll most likely still have that urge. It's been several months for me and everything is still a trigger. It's harder in a way because i don't have that outlet anymore but it also become's easier to push away the temptation. You just kind of get used to it after a while. Writing is good. Handwriting isn't important because no one but you is reading this. I started writing a lot in may, and since then i've written almost every night, like 7-8 pages. It's nice to get things out, even when you don't have someone to listen to you.

[Cali Gurl]

For me at first it was really hard and everything made me want to self harm. After some time though the urge has gotten smaller. I write down when I self harm and hide it, so then when i find it and see how long it has been it makes me feel proud. Hope things get better

[ABC258]

I wish I could say its easy to stop but I still do it even though the reason why I started ended years ago. But it does get less stressful over time, sometimes cutting does help but it only helps for a short period of time. Cutting yourself try not to but if you have to do it on your arms because they rarely ever bleed and it makes it obvious to people thats how I stopped. But try to think of the people you could hurt buy self harming hope it helped

[lauri]

I understand seeing a therapist may be scary and telling your parents you want to see one is hard but sometimes you just go to do it for your health and mind so you can feel better and work through your issues so you dont cut. You dont have to tell your parents you want to see one bec of the cuttign you could say soemthign like i have been feelign down lately because of this happening or whatever I would like to see one just to get advice. Im a cutter too and i have stoped cutting for a whole year I thought wow I can go a whole year that must mean Ill neevr do it again but I was wrong I went back to it }: after not cutting for a whole year Im not proud of myself for goign back i hate myself for going back to it. What I have found from self harming so many years is it no longer satisfys you but thats jsut me I mean sometiem s it does because I so want it to but sometimes it jsut doesnt satisfy me any more like it used to. HUGGGSS

[EndureEmo]

in my expreriances i found it gets so much easier over time...
i used to selfharm upto 3 times a week/ and i havent self harmed in over a month.
i feel so much better!!

IT GET EASIER!!


but its up to you if you trully want to stop, because only you can make it happen! and if you just message me we can talk if you ever wanted too.

[Celestial.]

Hey Marcus.

I'm here to tell you that, yes, it gets easier. Not immediately, and not entirely, but it does get better. Recovery isn't always hard, but it isn't always easy. It's a process, and while I can't guarantee that you won't have your bad days, I can guarantee that eventually they will get fewer and far between.

It's okay not to be able to go a week without cutting. If you can't make it that far yet, then set yourself smaller goals. I remember a time when I couldn't make it a month without hurting myself, and now I'm over a year free. You just have to work up to it, in your own time.

I know slip-ups can be disheartening, but they're not the end of the world. If you do slip-up, accept it, and move on. I know the temptation is to dwell on it, but that won't help. Everyone makes mistakes, and the best thing to do is, cliche as it is, learn from them.

Recovery can be a bit of a struggle, but it's worth it. Remember how good you feel whenever you resist an urge. You get stronger, and you feel better, and you learn ways to cope with urges in the future. But if you give in each time, you get stuck in the same vicious cycle, and you feel worse. So, you have to keep trying. Eventually, the urges will even get less intense, so each time you resist them, you help make them weaker in the future.

I wish you all the best with your recovery. Feel free to PM me if you want. Take care!

[Here.with.you]

Hey
Its good that you want to stop. And it does get easier, you will find ways to Get you mind off it. I love to write so I'll write, and it doesn't matter if it's messy or not. Also when I want to I come on here and talk to someone. And if you want to talk to someone I'm here for you. I also bounce a ball of a wall to get my hand busy or put music and just think. But it does get easier, i self harmed for 3 years and I've been self harm free for 6 months. And I've had my slip ups too. and even if you give in, everyone does at one. I believe that you can do it tho. If you need to talk to someone,I'm here to listen

[Illuminate]

Hi Marcus

To stop Self Harming is a huge task. Everyone is different.
Some people find it easy to quit with the right support, whereas others find it extremely hard.

I would suggest building up a support network of family and friends. With people supporting you, you might find it a whole lot easier. Having someone to turn to when you want to give up is key to breaking the habit.

If you find writing is a good distraction, write until your hand feels like it's going to drop off! It doesn't matter about your handwriting! :3


Set yourself goals. Take every day at a time and assess how you're feeling at the end of every day.

Take care, and keep strong <3

[bitesize]

It really really does get easier, trust me. Two and a half years ago I was cutting between every day to three times a week. Then I stopped, and now I never get the urges anymore. What I would suggest is try to find something that really, really motivates you to stop, like, maybe taking up swimming in a public place, where you can't show cuts?? Personally I was manipulated into it by a bad boyfriend which is NOT a situation I'd ever want anyone else to be in,but it did get me to stop, because I was motivated enough. You need to remind yourself that everyone does slip up sometimes and it doesn't mean you're not strong enough to get through it. Best of luck though, and I promise you it really really does get easier.

[9Lives]

Like the people above have said, it's different for each person.
I just thought I'd share what has helped me. (3 months SH-free currently, but once made it 9Months)

I don't have any kind of support except from this site, so what I would do when i got an urge was that i would write. I kept a 'self-harm journal'. Each time i got an urge, I'd write in that journal of whatever was going on, whatever i was feeling, just whatever. I type mine out since I find it allows my thought to flow faster. but writing works too, no matter how bad your handwriting is, just write it down somewhere.

Do things get easier?
To me, it really depends on the days you have. Some days, i have a really bad day and all i want to do is cut. but I write and i get through it. Most other days, it doesn't even cross my mind.

Don't be discouraged if you slip up. Consider each day a triumph. Good luck. And stay strong. You can do this.

[de.wit]

Things do get easier but it takes time. It takes lots of determintaion to quit cutting. Taking things one step at a time and going at a slow pace is great. You have done so good so far just by wanting to stop cutting. Just by trying is a great start and keep it up. It will get easier as time goes by, i promise.

[Resolute Runner]

Thanks for all the replies everyone. This makes day 3 without cutting thanks to all of your support. It really helps to know that someone cares.