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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Venenum Offline
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Sensation of injury - August 6th 2011, 12:44 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Firstly, I'm a guy. Haven't seen that much guys self-harming yet, so.. No idea what to say. Just pointed out.

I have no suicide thoughts. I was just alone once, very alone, and all the people around me ignored me, and acted disrespectful and shellfish.
I didn't want to be a part of them no more, so now I'm all alone.

I came up with this strange thought, and found myself a sharp blade-like -doesn't matter, it was sharp.
After sitting still just thinking for hours I took the blade and cut myself.
It was beautiful, the skin teared apart so nicely, and the blood began to pour. It looked so beautiful, sometimes I take off my clothes and examines scars, and fresh wounds.
I admire them, I've never seen anything that beautiful in my life.

I can't explain, it's a special feeling, like love.

Sometimes I also taste the blood too. So, procedure time: Anyone feel the same?

Last edited by Riddikulus; August 6th 2011 at 10:19 AM. Reason: Discombobulated: Triggering
   
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Re: Sensation of injury - August 6th 2011, 01:44 AM

First of all, welcome to the community, Venenum! I hope this site is as helpful for you as it has been to me.

I think I know the feeling you are talking about. I have looked at my wounds, and though nothing but 'wow.' I never could explain the way I was feeling, or why I felt it, but I knew that I liked it. It was something special to me. Something that was all mine, that no one else could spoil. And it was, as you said, beautiful. Sometimes I still look at myself and think that about my scars! I love them, sometimes!
My scars make me special, make me unique. My scars are what make me me, and I think thats what makes them beautiful to me.

But for the most part, I've stopped. So they also represent a part of my past that has defined me. To me, they are memories.They are the parts of me that have hurt as a teenager. They are the bads, while the goods are in my head. They are the part of me that I can use to teach others. Thats beautiful to me.
   
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Re: Sensation of injury - August 6th 2011, 03:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Venenum View Post
Firstly, I'm a guy. Haven't seen that much guys self-harming yet, so.. No idea what to say. Just pointed out.
I'm not a guy, but I hope you don't mind me replying to this thread


Quote:
Originally Posted by Venenum View Post
It was beautiful, the skin teared apart so nicely, and the blood began to pour. It looked so beautiful, sometimes I take off my clothes and examines scars, and fresh wounds.
I admire them, I've never seen anything that beautiful in my life.

I can't explain, it's a special feeling, like love.

Sometimes I also taste the blood too. So, procedure time: Anyone feel the same?
I feel this way a lot. Nothing can replace that feeling.

Scars make you who you are, and that's unique and beautiful. Inside and out.

Although, I'm trying to stop cutting; I'll always have the scars to remind me of what I was feeling at that moment in time.
   
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Re: Sensation of injury - August 6th 2011, 04:06 AM

i definitely agree, my cuts are so perfect in my eyes. so beautiful and it cant be spoiled by anyone ,they're MINE. i love everything about them ( except the stigma they come with) and its a feeling of joy that I don't think I could ever fully explain.
im not a guy but i replied anyway :$
   
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Re: Sensation of injury - August 6th 2011, 11:09 AM

Thanks for the replies, they're amazing and I feel happy when I read them.

As long as you don't overdo it, self-harm is a good thing, well short-term at least.

You also learn to feel and know your body in a whole new way, you learn more and get
more confident about yourself. This is the connection between body and soul.
   
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