Traped and scared.

[TheOneThatGotAway]

I don't really know where to start. I am starting college in 4 weeks and I am so scared because since I got back from canada a week ago I have been having suicidal thoughts and been having lots of urges to cut and put my self in dangerous situations. I won't kbow anyone at my college and no one will know about my cutting and I just don't know how I will cope on my own. I just want to hurt. I want to make friends at college but for the right reasons. I feel so alone. I just want to cry the whole time. I'm so scared. How do I cope? Xx

[Illuminate]

Hey love

I am sorry you're feeling so low. You don't deserve to feel this way. But you have to stay positive, okay?

Have a look at the alternatives to self harm thread. You might have seen it before, you might not have, but try some of the things on the list. They might help to distract yourself.

Being suicidal is extremely difficult to deal with and something I would suggest it having a family member or friend there to confide in. Someone to keep you going... someone who checks up on you. It might be easier that way.
Give yourself something to look forward to, think of all the great times you're going to have at college!

And lastly, have you thought about seeing a therapist? It might be something to consider to help you in the long run.

Keep strong,
Stay safe
- Charli <3

[Palmolive]

Hey there.

I'm really sorry things are a bit rough for you right now and that you've been getting suicidal thoughts and urges to cause harm to yourself. It's not a nice place to be in at all.

Think of starting college as a fresh new exciting.l Try and be confident even if you're not because as you said, no one there knows you and this is a new start to be the person you want to be. I would also look in to student support because most colleges have a good support network and you might be able to have an individual worker for you.

Suicidal thoughts are a horrible thing to experience. When you get them, or the urges to hurt yourself in any other way you need to try and distract yourself. For that I am going to advise you to look at the link Charlii has previously sent you. Not everything on there will work for you but some things will so it is all about trial and error. Don't give up if you come across something which doesn't help you.

I know things are hard for you right now but they can and they will get better. Your life won't always feel this way and you won't always have these thoughts and urges. So stay strong and keep on going because you have your whole life ahead of you. You're worth more than this.

Stay strong and chin up!
Jessie