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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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StayStrong6 Offline
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Unhappy Nobody Understands - August 8th 2011, 11:21 AM

I spent weeks hyping myself up to tell my mother I cut myself.
Today, I finally told her. She calmly told me she used to self-injure in a few
ways as well. But she said I should just stop?
I told her it has addictive qualities, But she still expects me to just stop.
I thought she might understand you can't just stop. I was hoping to see a
doctor or something and get help in quitting, but after telling her, and having
her let me know she doesn't want others knowing about it, I feel I should just
keep doing it and cover them up so she can't see them.
I really can't stop doing it. I think I need help because I can't do this on my own.
   
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Re: Nobody Understands - August 8th 2011, 11:35 AM

Hey there,

I'm so glad that you told your mom, that took a lot of courage and you should be proud of yourself for that.
It sounds like your mother understands what it is like and in some ways that is good because she knows how you are feeling. You said she isn't doing anything about it but when people find out that others close to them are Self Harming it can be hard to take in and people react differently. Also with the fact that your mom used to SH she is probably thinking you are going through the same pain that she went through and that is probably very hard to take in. It may her way of coping with this and I think you should talk to her and tell her how you are feeling about this.
Once the initial shock has worn offi'm sure she will come around.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk,
Take care,
Charli


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Re: Nobody Understands - August 10th 2011, 05:35 PM

Hey there.

Even though it probably didn't go as planned I think admitting to your mum that you self harm was such a positive step in the right direction. I think you did really well to be honest and open with your mum and make her aware that you do self harm. However I am sorry it didn't go as well as it could have done.

You're reaching out for help which is great. You're asking for help. We're always here to support you as much as we can but there is only so much we can do with being online. I would suggest you think about seeing your doctor and explaining your situation and perhaps asking about getting help and the possibility of having counseling. This could be someone you can talk to when you need them and to help you manage the urges you have and help you stay on top and in control. They'd help you in a way which would help you.

I know it's hard but you're worth so much more than self harm and you don't need to hurt yourself any more than you are already hurting inside. You don't need it, you are stronger than it.

Stay strong and chin up.
Jessie


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Re: Nobody Understands - August 10th 2011, 06:56 PM

I agree with the others - telling your mom was extremely brave and you're on the right path now! I suggest trying to talk to your mom about talking to a therapist? From what I gather, she thinks that you'll get over it by yourself? But sometimes we need a little guidance! As Charli said, she's probably just a little bit shocked. If my daughter told me that she was SHing, it would be hard for me to take in too. Anyway, I'm sure if you talk to her about how you're feeling at the moment, she'd be happy to help you in what ever way she can. She's your mom and she loves you and only wants what's best for you. Well done for telling someone! Take care
-Arabella.


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Re: Nobody Understands - August 10th 2011, 07:33 PM

Hi there,

Telling someone else, especially someone close to you like your mother, can be extremely difficult. So you should feel proud of that, because with issues like self injury.. it relies on secrecy and a lot of hiding.

I'm sorry that your telling your mother didn't go the way you wanted it to. Like others have said, I suggest you visit your doctor and see if he can refer you to a counselor where you can get some help with your SI issues. If seeing your doctor isn't a possibility, then perhaps a school nurse/counselor if you're still in education? In any case, you can always come to TH where there are lots of people who will try to help you.
   
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