Triggering (SH): I messed up

[daisyduck]

I messed up big time.
A couple of hours ago i cut myself for the first time in like 3-4 months. All that time down the drain.
It's like the urge has been so bad this week, but i had been pushing it away, but today it was just so much.
I went to my bathroom to look at my razor, remind myself why i don't, get the image out of my head, and before i realized what i was doing...
Now i feel really guilty.

Last time i told my old therapist, she ended up telling my parents without telling me. They never told me they knew either, it's like they didn't care.
I have a new therapist now, i feel really safe with her, but she has the legal obligation to tell them, so i don't want to tell her.
I have a feeling it will come out anyway. i'm a terrible liar.
I'll be guilty until someone knows. I don't know what to do

[Darrenboy!]

Samantha, i understand its a lot to deal with.

but please remember things can get better thats definite. and please dont blame yourself.... just learn from this mistake and make yourself stronger. You deserve to be happy. No buts bout that, just you deserve to smile.. and be happy like....super happy.

dont feel guilty, and just remember if your family was a little ....uncaring.. remember you can tell other people you know. im sure that some of them are caring, nice and sweet. just like you are

keep your chin up. you're a wonderful person and you should feel wonderful. no hurting yourself any more. the thought of someone as wonderful as yourself hurting yourself.. is seriously a sad thought we love you!

[Bubbles37]

There are bound to be slip-ups, but 3-4 months is a huge accomplishment. That time is not "down the drain", you were able to go for a long time without SH, and that is something to be proud of.

[Palmolive]

Hey there.

Firstly you went a whole 3-4 months with out self harming and that is absolutely amazing. It's something you really should be proud of and something you need to keep reminding yourself about and reminding that you have the strength somewhere inside you. Recovery is not about the slip ups but is all about picking yourself back up after them and you CAN beat them!

I know it's really hard to tell someone your self harm when you have such fears as your parents finding out but what's important in your situation is having support and getting the right help. You don't need to go through this alone but the only way for you to get the right and appropriate help which you will benefit from is to reach out and tell your therapist about what is happening and what's going on with your self harm. Whether that means your parents finding out or not. It's a risk you might well have to talk. You could always ask your therapist about confidentiality and if she admits to having to tell your parents then you could always try and tell them first. You could write it down and hand it to them if that would be easier or you could always ask your therapist to meet with your parents, with you, to tell them together. But what is important is that you get the help you deserve.

I hope this helps.
Jessie

[calgary01]

Try to trust someone. If not your parents/family, then maybe your therapist. And if she/he has to tell your parents (i know that feeling), then someone else. like an adult that you respect. or a close mature friend. Trusting someone helps sooo much. And be proud of yourself! 3-4 months is soo long to be sh free!