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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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MadPoet Offline
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Name: Amanda.
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Does the urge ever go away? - August 11th 2011, 11:23 PM

I haven't self harmed in a little more than a year, but I still get the urge sometimes. Sometimes I'm not even sad and I just want to cut. Most of the time I'm having negative emotions, but still. I'm feeling a lot better, but when I'm not that familiar urge just comes back. And I'm beginning to think it will never go away, and each time I get closer and closer to giving in to it. I don't want to go back to the way things were. I've found better alternatives and I try to stick to them. But it would be nice if I could stop thinking about cutting

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Re: Does the urge ever go away? - August 11th 2011, 11:31 PM

Hey Amanda

First of all a massive well done on stopping self harming, that's amazing, you should be really proud of yourself! You clearly have strength in you to have done this, you just need to use that strength now to push through the thoughts and urges you have been having recently

How often do you get urges? Are they quite regular? Are they when something happens? Have they been getting more frequent, or further apart? To be honest, I think that recovering from self harming can take years. And even then, I still think you're going to ge urges. As you said though, you've learnt ways to distract yourself, and that's the key thing! Once you've found something that works for you, you need to stick with it! The longer you go without hurting yourself the easier it will get. The urges will come and go but they won't be as strong

I really admire you for not wanting to go back to the way things were and by recognising that it should help motivate you to stick to the distractions It's not easy I know, it's incredibly difficult, but very possible.

If you ever need a chat, just get in touch, I'm a good listener Look after yourself and take care.
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Re: Does the urge ever go away? - August 12th 2011, 01:41 AM

Hey Amanda,

I'm actually at the same stage you are right now, and I've been wondering the same thing. But reading over stories of others' recoveries has made me more certain that the urges do go away. If you keep ignoring them, they should get less intense. I've found that myself - whenever I resist an urge, the next one doesn't seem as strong. But the second you give in to them, they'll get harder to resist in the future. So you have to keep fighting them now.

It's perfectly normal to still want to hurt yourself after being free for so long. I know that sometimes I get urges out of nowhere, not in response to any negative feelings but simply because I haven't done it in so long. But it sounds like you've got good distraction techniques, which is great, and you should definitely stick with them.

If you don't want things to go back to how they were before, don't let them. You're stronger than that now, and you've come a long way. Don't forget that, and don't let the urges get you down. If you feel like you're slipping back into old ways, maybe try writing a list of all the reasons why you shouldn't hurt yourself, or all the reasons why you've stopped. I've found that sometimes reminding myself of the reasons I'm doing what I'm doing can help me stay on the right track.

As for not thinking about cutting, that may take a bigger distraction. Something I've found useful is to put everything I have into a particular goal or project. If I remember correctly, you're pretty creative, so you could put all your energy into writing a novel - which will obviously take time, and give you something else to think about - or if you're musically inclined, you could write an album of your own songs, or if you're sporty, you could set a sport-related goal (such as a new personal best) and work towards it. The bigger the better, as it'll keep you distracted for longer, and help keep your thoughts away from self harm.

I hope I've helped, and I hope you feel better soon. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. Take care, and remember: you can do this.

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Re: Does the urge ever go away? - August 12th 2011, 03:40 AM

First off congratulation on being self-harm free for that long. I myself have been cut free for a little over 4 years and the cutting urges honestly haven't stopped for me yet. But then again I have been self-harming since I was like 4 and I still do it just don't cut myself anymore. How ever it gets easier and easier for me to resist the urge to cut. You just got to stay strong and havce faith that you can do it :]

If you ever need someone to talk to I'm more than happy to talk to you...You can pm me anytime

We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
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