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pixiesticks Offline
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Moved to college yesterday. - August 19th 2011, 09:17 PM

Have only talked to a few people. I suck at making friends and shit. I'm rooming by myself because my roommate met someone she wanted to room with. So I may or may not be getting one.

But anyway, this has all made me want to cut. And I don't know if it's because I'm lonely, or scared, or sad. I don't know. I just do. I want to cut and I keep having urges to and I want them to go away.

It's worse that I have my own room. Because if I had a roommate, I'd be in a room with someone, I'd have to go to the bathroom or something just to do it.

I brought my razors with me. I almost didn't. I couldn't leave them behind. Now, I'm thinking that if I had, that I wouldn't be able to cut because I don't like using other things. But I probably would find something to use anyways. So I don't know.

I'm just don't know how to make these urges go away. And I suck at this college thing. I just want classes to start already. I need something to distract me. I've been going places and looking at things, but, just can't get rid of the urges. And I don't know why.

(I'm sorry, I tend to ramble in all of my posts.)

Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise.
-Les Miserables
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.Jess. Offline
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Re: Moved to college yesterday. - August 19th 2011, 09:55 PM


Moving away from home to college and a new environment is a really scary thing to do, so you should give yourself credit for doing it in the first place! I moved away from home to go to Uni and I remember after my family left me I just sat in my room and cried because I was so scared, I didn't know anyone and I thought I wouldn't make any friends. You're going through a massive change at the moment, it's understandable you may be feeling more stressed then normal!

The good thing about college is everyone is there to make friends, and every wants to make friends, so generally people are really friendly! Throw yourself out there, get yourself involved and meet people. Is there anyone at the college you can speak to about your room situation? It'd be really great for you to get a roommate, maybe you could see what the situation is with that? You could even ask to be moved to a room where there are other people? I'm not quite sure how it works, so sorry if that's not even possible! You need to keep yourself busy and distracted. This is one of the best times of your life, you're going to have an amazing time.

Throw your razors away? I know that won't eliminate the risk completely but it makes it harder for you to hurt yourself. You don't need to hurt yourself to help with your feelings. You can do that in other ways depending on the emotion your feeling. Have a look at this website: http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/fself.html It matches your mood with a distraction so hopefully it'll be more effective!

Stay strong and enjoy college. Hopefully once you're more settled in you'll be happier. Here if you ever need to talk. Take care
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Re: Moved to college yesterday. - August 21st 2011, 06:02 PM

I feel your pain because like you, I move into college soon and I wonder how I am going to manage my self harm while I am gone. I am used to a lot of privacy and the ability to self harm when I feel the need to, now... I'm going to have to rethink things because of living with someone. I'm already stressed out about things, so I know my urges are going to increase steadily.

However, you have to hold your head up. Open your door. They say that one of the best things you can do for yourself when you go to college is to leave your door open. If your door is open, people are likely to pop in and introduce themselves when they walk by. With the door open, you can't cut either because someone will see you. That makes things difficult, ya know?

Remember that you have people here that you can talk to about your new experiences. I hope you are doing well and maybe they will find a roomie for you.

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