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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Shelby
Age: 23
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Relapse right around the corner. - August 27th 2011, 01:03 AM

I've been clean of self harm for nearly 3 months now. I'm extremely stressed and unhappy with myself, shocker, and lonelier than I've ever been.

I'm going to do it again. I know it, I can see it. I can already feel it. I'm scared.

You've gotta swim, swim for your life. Swim for the music that saves you, when you're not so sure you'll survive. You gotta swim and swim when it hurts. The whole world is watching. You haven't come this far to fall off the earth.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Peri Offline
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Re: Relapse right around the corner. - August 27th 2011, 11:21 AM

Hey Shelby,

Well done on being three months self harm free! It's quite an achievement and you should be proud of yourself. I know that the TH community is.

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling stressed and unhappy. Would you consider talking about this to a friend or someone you trust? Relapses can unfortunately happen in recovery, but the most important thing about it is what you do *after* you've had the relapse. The best way forward would be to perhaps learn from it, and then use that to your advantage if a similar situation arises in the future. Recovery is never quite a smooth road.

There is a list of alternatives right in the Alternatives to Self Harm sticky. It might really help to try out some of those alternatives and see if it could take your mind off from self harm. If you do self harm though, please make sure to take care of any injuries and to use clean materials. Information on how to look after any injuries can be located here.

Take care of yourself.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse right around the corner. - August 27th 2011, 02:58 PM

Yes; definitely look at that sticky and see if any of them help you.
I personally like the crawling on the floor and barking like a dog one
The silly one's often distract us the best.
But, hey; I'm sorry you're feeling like this. It's hard, I know. Write out your emotions..get them released somehow, before you take them out on yourself, okay? If you have something you often use, throw it out.
Stay strong <3

searching for myself...
and hugs. mostly hugs.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse right around the corner. - August 27th 2011, 03:07 PM

Hi there.

Firstly I want to say that I am sorry you're feeling low again and that you're struggling with urges to self harm, it's a horrible place to be in and you don't deserve these feelings at all.

I want to tell you that you are the on in control of your actions and people, including us here at teenhelp can be here to support you as much as we can to help you through these urges and these horrible thoughts about self harming and can try and help you manage the way you're feeling, but at the end of the day you're the one who has to stop yourself from hurting you. Now I am not saying doing so is easy because I understand that it might well just be one of the hardest things you ever have to do, but it's achievable. Set your mind to it and have reasons not self harm and don't do it. Try making a list of reasons of not to self harm like these:
  • Because of the scars
  • I am worth more than self harm
  • I don't deserve it
  • It doesn't solve the actual problem
  • I could dangerously hurt myself more than I mean too

(adding your own too!) and then write them on to a big piece of paper, decorate it to make it look nice and stick it up on your wall where you can go to it and see it when you're feeling at your worst and feeling the need to cut to help remind you of all the reasons you shouldn't hurt yourself in any way.

I also want to encourage you to take a look at the previous link that has been sent to you of alternatives to self harm. Not all of these things on this sticky will help you but there will be certain ones which do so it's all about trial and error and not giving up when you come across something that doesn't help you.

I hope this helps. Take good care of yourself and feel free to shoot me a PM if you need anything.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse right around the corner. - August 27th 2011, 06:46 PM

Hey there, first off, I'd like to congratulate you on 3 months self-harm free. That's amazing.

I'm sorry you're feeling so low and want to resort to self-harm again. There are other ways to cope with whatever you're dealing with. As others have suggested, take a look at the alternatives thread and find something that works for you. Maybe keep a journal of the times you want to self-harm and write down what makes you want to harm yourself so you can figure out what triggers the urges and how you can deal with them effectively each time.

Also, do you have an effective support system? Such as a therapist, group of friends/family who understand? I can tell you that TeenHelp is definitely a great start. I've found so much support here and so many understanding people who have become my friends. I hope you do too.

Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm here to listen<3
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse right around the corner. - August 28th 2011, 12:49 AM

Hey Shelby.

Most people see self-harm as a weakness, but the way I see it is this:

To purposely injure yourself takes mental strength. More than it does to do a lot of things.

I should know, I tried it.

If you have the strength to cut yourself (something that people who have never self-harmed usually shudder at), you have the strength to resist the urge.

3 months is amazing and you should be so proud of yourself. I hope you realise how strong you are and that you can overcome this permanently.

Take care.

J. x

"You, and only you alone,
Can build a bridge across the stream..."

TeenHelper since 07/07/2005.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relapse right around the corner. - August 29th 2011, 02:14 AM

Do you have a battle plan? I'd make a list of things that you know help calm down the urges and put it in an easily accessible place so that you don't even have to think if you need it. You could collect a box of things that are calming to you- chocolate, scented pillows, a favorite book- a keep that convenient, too. Getting out of the house can really help too, so maybe scope out nearby bike trails or places you can go for a walk? And even if you don't, sometimes I find that the best thing to do is just run out the door and walk all my thoughts away until I'm exhausted and can come home and just collapse in bed.
Also, next time you're having a really good day and feel strong enough, maybe remove your "supplies" if you've been hoarding any? I know that you can't remove all dangerous things from the world, and maybe you aren't ready to throw out the razors entirely, but at least move them so that they aren't easily accessible. I also put my survival tips or a picture of people I love in the same drawer as scissors and things so that if I reach for them I have something to stop me.
Good luck, I hope things improve for you.
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