SH, will it forever haunt me??

[bayhorse321]

So I know it's been a while since I've interacted much on here or anywhere for that matter. I have been struggling and still do. Three of my friends know but they won't listen. I know what I do is wrong. I know that cutting is not a good method but sometimes I don't want to get better. It's hard to feel like I am able to get through this. As stupid as it sounds. The people try to understand but they don't. They don't want my explanations. And they leave me alone, an outcast. I dnt think my depression meds made a difference but my mother and doctor won't listen. I've stopped taking them and trying to get over this all on my own. I found that on the meds I could feel and cry. To much that it hurt that way to. I am at a loss and I SHed 2 days ago and can't hide them during clinicals. I'm so lost

[SoraKat]

Hey bestie...

you know what ive decided? you are one of the strongest and most beautiful people i know. I love you and you know that.

Cutting is really bad... but its addicting and i think anyone who has done it a few times would understand that. Im with you okay? i know you probably want an opinion other than mine,but i had to reply. cause i love you.

praying for you

[bayhorse321]

Sora you are my best most amazing friend. It feels like you are the only one I have. I love you too. Thank you for caring. I know we are together through this. Im not so sure about my strength but I know how much you have and it's so much more than I've ever seen. Your an amazing person.

[Dr.Bobby]

Shana, your SH will haunt you until you take the difficult steps to fix it. That means staying with therapy, maybe the meds, even though you might not like it all the time. Take a step back, though, and maybe try to see that it's the small steps that add up to the big cure.

Recovery is a process, you have to stay with it and keep at it and keep fighting back the urges and talking with your doc. We can fix just about anything, but we need time and cooperation! Stay at it, and if you're waning there, talk about it, don't just withdraw.

[bayhorse321]

I don't have anyone to talk to. I get the meds from my regular physician. I know I am not alone but it feels like it and it hurts. I am loosing everything it seems. I have to give my horse away and she's all I have worth anything to me. Sad but she's the only thing I can talk to. Now I am utterly alone. I took the meds today and I guess I'll just keep at it but. I am lost

[Dr.Bobby]

Shana, why don't you have a therapist? Ask your physician for a referral!

[bayhorse321]

Because my mother thinks I don't need one...

[Dr.Bobby]

Well, since we agree that therapy would be a good thing, you have two choices: Either work with mom to better inform her what's going on with you and why you really need some therapy, or get a therapist yourself (you can do that at 18). Go look in the phone book under 'Mental Health Services" and see what clinics are available. They're low cost and confidential.

[bayhorse321]

I am scared...