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Name: Molly
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Can i tell him without losing him? - September 26th 2011, 02:18 AM

So recently i have started cutting again, and it's worse than ever before. I cut every 3 hours on average, sometimes less. The guy I like found out and he has been trying to help me through it, not knowing i started cutting the day he told me he liked someone else. I know i can tell him anything and he'd keep it a secret, but it had been two whole days without me cutting and he was super proud of me and i just cut again.

I'm scared if i tell him, he'll get mad at me and think i'm just cutting for attention because whenever i would tell other friend about me cutting they thought i just told them to make them feel bad for me. He's the only person i can talk to and i really don't want to lose him, but i don't know if i can look him in the eye tomorrow and say i didn't cut when i did.


I know what its like to want to die; how it hurts to smile; how you try to fit in but you can't; how you hurt yourself on the outside; to try to kill
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Even the people who never frown eventually breakdown.


How can you understand me when I can't understand myself?

It seems to me that the harder I try the harder I fall.
   
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Re: Can i tell him without losing him? - September 26th 2011, 03:44 PM

You should tell him if you want to. Just explain to him how you feel, and that it is NOT for attention. Tell him you know you can trust him, but there's a part of you that is scared to due to past experience. Then tell him you cut again.

Maybe you can ask for his help to make a list of alternatives? Or a list of people you can call if you want/need to talk to someone.
   
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Re: Can i tell him without losing him? - September 26th 2011, 05:05 PM

Molly, the real issue is your cutting, not him.

If you're cutting every three hours, you're clearly out of control and overwhelmed. You need some immediate help, get that------> as in right now. From a professional. What happens with your boyfriend or how/if you present this to him is frankly irrelevant right now. The goal is to stop this very dangerous behavior, his reaction is a distraction b/c the step involved to do that doesn't involve his participation. Besides, I can almost guarantee his reaction (whenever he hears it) will be much better if he knows you're in therapy and addressing it with someone else!

In the course of treatment, you and your doc can discuss (amongst other things) how to address the boyfriend issue.


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