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(#1 (permalink))
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Member
Average Joe
*** 
Name: Brianna
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 122
Join Date: May 21st 2011
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I miss it so much! -
September 27th 2011, 10:46 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
So basically it's been a little over 4 months (133 days to be exact) since I last hurt myself. I've had my struggles with it and days where I've wanted to give in so bad. But lately the urges have just gotten worse and worse. I mean, I know that I'm going to have urges and struggles with it, but it's just gotten really hard. I miss everything about it. I miss the way it felt, I miss the relief, I miss the healing process, I miss the look of scars. I hate that I'm feeling like this because I don't know how much longer I can go without starting up again.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon
"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe |
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(#2 (permalink))
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Member
Not a n00b
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Name: Erika
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Posts: 98
Join Date: June 19th 2010
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Re: I miss it so much! -
September 28th 2011, 12:15 AM
i feel the exact same way. every time i see scars i get an urge to add to them. when i get upset i want to hurt myself like i used to. the urges are awful sometimes. but i try to think of the positive side. no more secrets. no more putting ur life at risk. theres not that constant fear over my shoulders of wondering who knows and who is quietly judging me. just always think of the bright side, it actually helps
"I don't wanna be afraid.
I want to wake up feeling beautiful today." |
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(#3 (permalink))
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Nomatophobia: fear of a name.
Regular TeenHelper
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Name: Snooks
Gender: Female
Location: Right here.
Posts: 405
Join Date: November 4th 2010
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Re: I miss it so much! -
September 28th 2011, 10:57 AM
Four months is great, Brianna! Keep it up, and I know the recovery process is difficult. Instead of cutting when you feel the need to, find something else to do. Watch some TV, go out with friends, volunteer, or invest in a skill you have.
Keep up the good work. 
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover
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(#4 (permalink))
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Member
Average Joe
***
Name: Brianna
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 122
Join Date: May 21st 2011
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Re: I miss it so much! -
September 29th 2011, 04:36 AM
I just don't feel like there's any point in trying to keep up this progress anymore. I don't know if I want to keep it up anymore. I just want to give in more than anything else right now.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon
"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe |
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(#5 (permalink))
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Nicole
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Posts: 21
Join Date: September 27th 2011
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Re: I miss it so much! -
September 29th 2011, 04:42 AM
Congratulations, 4 months is great and you should be very proud of yourself
 I understand too and it is tough when you are used to something and want to go back. Like someone who goes off alcohol and wants to drink again, etc. The best thing to do is to fight that urge like you have. There are things in life we really want to do, but can't because it hurts us and it's better to heal the scars than to create more. Giving in is weak, you have to be strong and say NO! if you get the urge, distract yourself, it helps to cover it up so you can't see it and focus on something else that will get your mind off it! watch a TV show, a movie, dance, go for a run, read a good book, talk to a friend, family member, whoever, etc, whatever works! Don't give in, cutting may seem okay but it is a terrible thing, I am so happy to see my scar disappearing, knowing I am strong and doing good for me, do the same for yourself! -Nicole
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