Triggering (SH): You know what...I dont care!!!

[Liz94]

I have literally just self harmed... so I lasted well the 7th sep was the last time b4 tonight.

But you know what I am having a go at myself for not self harming before today.

I am having a go at myself for not going deeper tonight. I have am having a go at myself for not doing enough cuts.

I am having a go at myself for not going deep enough to end up dead.

I really really do not care anymore. So what if SH leaves scars, so what if it means covering up, so what if it dangers my life, so what, so what, so what....

I would rather have to relief, the release, the feeling alive....I don't care about the consequences of it.

I am a hopeless, worthless, pathetic low life and I always will be; so I might as well SH and Binge to get through the day...I am not worth recovering....and I don't care that I was " doing so well" " well on the way to recovering" Because SH, Cuts, Blades, blood and scars are my life now...it is all I am good for.

[ShareThisDragon]

Hugs. Hugs because SH and binging and trying and then slipping back into old habits does not make you a low life nor does it make you worthless. You are a person, with strong feelings and a strong will. You don't deserve to hate yourself. You deserve to forgive yourself, maybe even to give your body a hug and say you're sorry for hurting it because you couldn't help it and the energy had to go somewhere. You wont feel like this forever. Things will get better.

[Charlai]

Hun don't do that because when you act like that it hurts and pushes away everyone around you and trust me darling i know. reaching a point where you don't care means disregarding other people, people who love you, who want to see you happy it also means you have no regard for yourself. i know earlier this month i did it really badly i was in the middle of a class and i just started rubbing a pen up and down my arm leaving a 2.7" scar my friend say it she got so mad and so hurt she couldn't even speak and trust me it hurts to see people we love hurt so imagine how they feel when they see us harming ourselves. they feel disappointed and hurt because we didn't go talk to them about it. and again you don't want to reach a point of no return when you just SH for the thought of it.
i still cut sometimes but it's been 13 days since, mostly because i'm tired of hurting all the people around me.
And this isn't pointing fingers ok i know how you feel and i've done it and it just lead to more pain.
love the hearts that hurt us but never hurt the hearts that love us