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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Flower123 Offline
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Question How can I help my friend? - October 3rd 2011, 03:32 PM

I have a friend who is self harming, he is a wonderful person and I really want to help him but I don't know how. I tried a lot of different things and they seemed to work but than I had to go back to germany and he is in canada. So now it is pretty hard to help him over this long distance.
Does anyone has an idea how I could help him over such along distance???

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Re: How can I help my friend? - October 3rd 2011, 06:43 PM

Hey hun, I'm sorry to hear about your friend
I have a few friends like that too. The best thing you can do if you're far away is just be there for him and support him. Tell him how you feel about him cutting, and remind him how much you care. Just having someone to help him though this will make him feel better.
PM me if you need anything!


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Re: How can I help my friend? - October 3rd 2011, 07:58 PM

Ah that's hard. :\ I'm sorry to hear that. Well pretty much just what Magaly said, let him know how much you care. And if it's possible tell him to call you whenever he felt the need to self harm? Idk if that works with you being In Germany but, it would help.
   
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Re: How can I help my friend? - October 3rd 2011, 08:31 PM

Hey, guys thanks for you help, that's what I was thinking too. It is pretty hard and I don't want to annoy him with that... He is such an amazing person and it makes me really sad everytime he tells me that he cut himself again. He stoped for a while and now he started again because he has a lot od problems with his family and doesn't got any close friends in canada. So yeah I really don't know what to do but I will try my best and I hope with your help I will be able to do so!!!
   
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Re: How can I help my friend? - October 3rd 2011, 10:44 PM

These self harm/cutting threads are always unsettling because of the obvious danger. It's the one thing that really does require professional help, and the goal is usually (if not always) to get the person to a doctor.

So, what the standard advice here is: Get him to a doctor. The work with him should be around that, not trying to listen/understand/support/treat this (you really cannot, and surely not long distance!). What you CAN do is use your relationship with him to (hopefully) get him to listen to you and follow thru.

Self harm is very serious, there's usually an urgent need for professional involvement, and the person tells primarily b/c they trust you and are desperate. Help them by getting them to a doctor who can address their pain.

And, if someone actually talks about imminent self harm, call the authorities (or their parents, if they're minors). But never think that 1) They won't do it, and 2) that you're presence there can somehow save them/stop the behavior.


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