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Shanielle Offline
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Name: Shanielle
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Am I Addicted? - October 22nd 2011, 12:24 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Alright. I kind of don't want to put this up here because I've said this before, but I feel like I am losing control. I hate saying that because it makes me sound like an addict and I am in denial about it. I am cutting worse than ever. It was already everyday, but now it's all over the place. I used to have only three cuts on my arm - now I have ten. Over half of my arm is covered with them. My thighs are messed up so much, from the top to the bottom. One part of my rib cage is scarred and the other part is covered with cuts. I had let my hand and my ankles heal but messed those up yesterday and today. I hate to think about how bad it's gotten, and I hate sharing it with my friends if all they are going to get out of it is ideas. I want to scream at them when they say that: no, you don't want this! You don't want to screw up your entire body like me! Even I didn't want to screw my body up like this! I am always the one who is saying, "I wouldn't suggest that" because I know the consequences. I know how after the cuts I have to deal with them, and I always want to help them get through their pain, even though I can't deal with my own.
Anyways, does this mean I'm addicted to cutting or that I have gotten out of hand - I need to know.
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Moyshi Offline
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Re: Am I Addicted? - October 23rd 2011, 01:20 AM

Hi Shanielle,
I'm glad you posted here, and I think some part of you does know that things are a little out of your control. When self harm is used as a coping method it becomes very routine to turn to when things are hard. When you use it as a coping mechanism for a while it can be difficult to handle your pain any other way...this is when people become addicted and when self harming suddenly becomes your first option.

I would strongly suggest meeting with your school guidance counselor. Honestly, they are there to help and support you, and they're trained to know how to. You don't need to go through this alone and it can be tough to be dealing with your own struggles as well as others. Going to talk to one is a huge step and it can be scary, but it's worth it. If you don't think you can go alone, bring a friend to be there with you.

To wrap up this post, i'm going to leave with you the link to TH's Alternatives to Self Harm thread, just incase you haven't read through it. It has a ton of ideas on what to do when you're having urges. Keep an open mind and realise that they won't all work for you...but don't give up on trying to find a healthly alternative to self harm.

I hope this post helped a bit.
Take care. :]

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
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