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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 8th 2011, 11:50 PM

Just curious how you guys told people. I am definitely not going to tell my family. They just wouldn't understand. But I was thinking about telling a friend. But I just don't know how without freaking her out. So how did you guys tell you best friend/family about SH??
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 8th 2011, 11:58 PM

I told my family by writing a letter to my guidance counselor, and she told my parents. My friends... Well, my best friend SHed as well so it was easy for me to admit it to them.


   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 9th 2011, 12:02 AM

I didn't tell my family but I told my best friend the day I met her. I'm not sure why but I felt safe telling her things since day 1 and I just wanted her to know before she started a friendship with me and then she find out some other way. I just told her, "Hey A, I know you don't know me that well but I just want to let you know that I'm messed up & I cut/burn myself. I hope this doesn't change things between us but I needed to tell you." She understood because we are now 5 years into our friendship.
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 9th 2011, 12:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by believe.in.hope View Post
I didn't tell my family but I told my best friend the day I met her. I'm not sure why but I felt safe telling her things since day 1 and I just wanted her to know before she started a friendship with me and then she find out some other way. I just told her, "Hey A, I know you don't know me that well but I just want to let you know that I'm messed up & I cut/burn myself. I hope this doesn't change things between us but I needed to tell you." She understood because we are now 5 years into our friendship.
How did you know you could tell her the first day you met her?? I mean how did you know you could trust that she wouldn't tell anyone?? I mean one of the main reasons I started was because I have been hurt by so many best friends. If I am having doubts about telling one of my friends do you think I should hold off??
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 9th 2011, 12:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seebeyondthesurface View Post
How did you know you could tell her the first day you met her?? I mean how did you know you could trust that she wouldn't tell anyone?? I mean one of the main reasons I started was because I have been hurt by so many best friends. If I am having doubts about telling one of my friends do you think I should hold off??
I just knew by her personality and how so many people trusted her so much. She hasn't told anyone to this day & she's very trust worthy. I guess I got lucky but I just wanted to be honest from the start, y'know?

But yes. If you are having serious doubts, I really think you should hold off on telling your friend. You have to be comfortable with explaining yourself & trust the person you're telling. If you don't, then you should wait until you do or not at all.
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 9th 2011, 12:51 AM

Yeahh I understand why you would want to tell her. And thats why I feel like some of my friends have the right to know because it is apart of me now. But I think I will hold off on telling her though at least for now. Thanks for the advice!
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 11th 2011, 02:47 PM

I didn't tell my family, they read my journal, I would have probably never told them to be honest, I didn't want them knowing and I couldn't figure out how to tell them, at the time, I was trying to think of ways to tell them about it but I guess they found out before I could get the courage and strength to tell them.
My friends, I've told two, one girl I told the other day at youth group, we were sitting there and we were discussing depression and she was saying how she almost hurt herself and how she thought her sister might have hurt herself once and then I told her I've done some stupid things. And she asked me if I cut myself. I answered her honestly, though I felt very awkward, because I know she's not going to tell the whole school or anything but at the same time, she's the first person in my school that knows.
I told another friend that I met at a summer camp last year that I SH and I told him through FB, we're really close and he's very supportive of me and my trying to stop SH.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 11th 2011, 02:56 PM

My parents found out. It went down pretty badly. My Mum read my diary which pissed me off. My therapist slipped up by telling me once. My Mum still doesn't know that I know. It's always best to admit things than to just let them go on. Even when my parents found out I kept denying it... even when they found the blades. It becomes as though you believe the lies yourself.

Telling my best friend... Did it over the internet believe it or not. Worst. Move. Ever. Make sure you can trust your friend before you spill your deepest darkest secret <3




   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 13th 2011, 08:39 PM

Two of my friends came up to me asking for help with SH, which was shocking to me. And when I gave them advice, they wondered why I knew so much.. I wound up telling them.

As for my girlfriend, I told her a few days ago by writing her a letter. She wrote one back.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

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Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 13th 2011, 08:44 PM

I've told 3 people - 2 were close friends, one an ex friend.

R - I told her over text, because she posted on Twitter "Just did something really regretable" and I just had this feeling that she was self harming. Turns out she had cut herself, but just on the one occassion, so I kinda told her for nothing because she didn't want to talk about it.

E - I told her a few weeks later, because she noticed something was wrong and kept asking me. I told her over text as well, and she said she'd be there to support me. We haven't directly spoken about it, but she does ask at least once a week if I'm being 'healthy' and I tell her

S - It kinda slipped out with her and I kinda regret it. She WAS a close friend, but not so much anymore. Anyway, she's been through all sorts, including SH, so we were just having a chat in PE, and then she asks hoe I've been, and for some stupid reason I go "Not so well...." and tell her everything :/

All of these were in the past 2 months or so. I don't plan on telling anyone else, definitely not my family.
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 14th 2011, 11:40 AM

When I was in therapy my psychiatrist told my mother about it. Shes the only one who knows.


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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 17th 2011, 12:00 AM

my older sister told my parents and i almost cried. my step dad yelled at me, (pardon my language) what the fuck was i thinking? my mom was just disappointed. what hurt the most was the look on my older sisters face when she hugged me. we both cried about it later that night.





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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 17th 2011, 02:23 AM

My best friend from school actually saw my scars and went and told our high school counselor. She called me into her office and I had to explain everything and she told me for legal reasons I needed to tell my parents. So I called them that night and just flat out said that i cut myself and the school counselor needed me to tell them. For a while it brought us closer as a family and they were a lot more helpful than I expected. I thought they would be really mad at me and would yell at me but the first thing my dad told me was that if I needed to talk he would be there for me. So your friend/ family may be more understanding/helpful than you give them credit for. But yes it is a very scary thing to have to let out.
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 23rd 2011, 01:39 AM

19 days ago I carved Help Me into my arm, pretty deep. That was my breaking point, I decided I needed to tell someone or eventually I would kill myself. My mom and I are really close, I figured she would be the best person to tell first.

I called her after school, pretty much in tears, asking if she was busy and told her I needed to talk. I drove to her office, shut her door and told her to sit down.

I then lifted up my sleeve and showed her my cuts. I'm not gonna lie and say it was easy, or that the tears running down my moms face don't haunt me everyday, but it was the best thing I have ever done.

I told my best friend my doing the same thing, not saying anything, just showing her. I don't know about you, but I have never said out loud that I cut myself. The closest I've come is saying I self harm.

I suggest you do it, even though it will be really hard.

Stay Strong <3w


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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 23rd 2011, 02:06 AM

My ex best friend told my mom over the phone, and I was standing there when she told her. I can't remember how my friend found out, though. :/


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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 23rd 2011, 02:07 AM

I didn't tell them. They found out, one of my old friends noticed scares and asked me about them. I got upset and wouldn't tell her. My mom was actually having thoughts that I had started doing that and she just tlaked to me about it. Just stay strolng and I think you should tell them. It will help you get over it.


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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 23rd 2011, 02:35 AM

My family doesn't know. My best friend noticed how miserable I was and told me about how she wanted to do it before, and dragged it out of me.
   
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Re: How did you tell your friends or family?? - November 23rd 2011, 10:22 AM

Hi There,

Telling my friend was not an easy at first he didn't understand and then he began to treat me different. But after I explained more about what happened to me and why I am do this He didn't treat me different anymore he was a GREAT friend. He was understanding, Non-Judgmental and just a happy person all the time. If you don't feel comfortable saying it maybe you should write it down and give it to the person that you would like to tell. Remember, If you don't feel your ready to talk about all the details DON'T tell them you are not ready to talk about it. Making yourself get it all out might only upset you and I would assume that your telling people because you need some support and that great! But, don't talk about stuff you are not ready to talk about.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need support I am more than happy to talk to you!



Stay Safe,

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