Triggering (SH): Me, AGAIN.

[Caramel Cheesecake]

So, yeah, I started to self-harm AGAIN. There's this religious retreat in South Carolina this December, and I don't want to go, but when my mother and I went to get our passports, she said that I was going, whether I wanted to or not. I was really pissed about it, and when I went into the change room to try on some jeans (we were in a store by this time, and the fact that I had to try on a few pairs of jeans to find some big enough bothered me, but that's another one of my problems that doesn't belong in this category), I just went, 'Fuck it.' and hurt myself in the change room. I didn't bleed on anything, so nobody really knew what I did. This was three days ago, by the way.

So, today I was feeling really shitty and I hurt myself in the school washroom too.

If anybody is wondering why I haven't told my mother about the whole self harming thing...I don't really know. I'm not that good with talking about my issues. To be honest, the only people that I've told is people on here.

[FillingWithHope]

I think you should at least try and tell your mother. Or go in for professional help, it helps a lot.

[1yr1a]

im the same as u i really cant talk aboy my feeling but tell you mum it really does help take the waight off and u can get help. i cant tell u the best way to tell her coz i was found out when i had to go to the hospital :/ so yeah it really did help thou :P so bottem line tell your mum n get some pro help
hope this helps good luck!

[Celestial.]

Hey there.

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going so great right now. As the others have said, telling your mother is probably a good idea. Or, if you're not comfortable talking to her, is there anyone else you could talk to, like a family member or counsellor? It's okay not to want to open up at first. Talking about things like this, especially in real life, can be quite daunting, and at times uncomfortable - but that doesn't mean it won't help. Maybe part of the reason this is happening to you is because you've kept it to yourself; if you start to open up, you can also start to heal and recover.

In the meantime, have you tried any alternatives? The fact that you posted this thread shows that on some level you want to stop self harming, and using alternatives is a way to start this. Some of my favourite techniques are writing, listening to music, or going for a walk. Whatever works for you, and doesn't hurt you, is a good idea.

Take care, and good luck.