Idk.. kinda blah..

[Boxy]

So, I've been SH free for like 3 months-ish I think (I don't actually remember the last time I did). And the past few days I've just been thinking I wanna SH. Ever since I started (which was years and years ago) I've always had this thing where if I think of doing it, (or commit to doing it or decide I need to/deserve it) then I have to do it. I've only once not done it once I decided I deserved to.

I've just been feeling kind of blah and down and stuff lately. Not really depressed or hurt for any real reason that I can think of. It's probably just little things adding up that I don't realize. But still, since the other day that I decided I should SH, it hasn't left my mind. I really feel like doing it right now, like it would make me feel better and I could go on with my life.

idk... just looking for some support I guess :/

[youatemypeanut]

I'm feeling the same way at the moment, and I'm not entirely sure what to say to help. But hopefully knowing you're not alone is some comfort. If not I'm truly sorry for wasting your time. :-( :hugs:

[GirlInTheHi-Tops]

I know the feeling. But what I try to remind myself is that it's a very, very brief gratification, and then after that comes guilt and self-hate and then you're caught up in the loop again. I hate being in that space and I'm guessing you do too, if you wanted to quit.
But you've pushed the thought away before, and you can do it again.
Try doing something you love that you don't do very often. Call up a friend and go to the movies, drive to a town you've never been to, see about getting into the world for a bit. I find that when you get out of your head, sometimes when you go back in the thought's not as strong.
Try replacing the action with something else. Like, draw a butterfly or work out or something- whatever works for you. I find that sometimes doing something definitively, instead of focusing on not doing something, can help.