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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Angry Im a screw-up.. - November 20th 2011, 12:07 AM

I'm a screw up why can't I go a month or more with out cutting, I feel so weak and inadequate. Its like I know I shouldn't but I can't help it.. I want to stop and I'm taking all the steps but it seems everytime I am at 28days I cut. I'm so fucking done, I want to stop, because the cutting isn't giving me satisfaction anymore, and I have to do something before I end up using something sharper...please help me.
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Re: Im a screw-up.. - November 20th 2011, 08:52 AM

Hey there.

I'm sorry things aren't going so well at the moment, but let me tell you something: struggling with self harm doesn't make you weak or inadequate. Just the fact that you can make it to twenty eight days free shows that you have the potential to overcome this. Self harm can become quite an addictive coping mechanism, which is why it's hard to stop - not because you're a failure, a screw-up, or any of the other negative things your mind might try to convince you that you are.

Knowing that self harm is wrong and that you should stop is a good first step in overcoming it, but unforunately it's not always enough to convince you to quit. Something that could help you now is to think of all the reasons you shouldn't cut; for example, your friends, your future, and the fact that you deserve more. Whenever you feel triggered, just look at the list again, and remember why you want to stop. Have you tried any alternatives? They can really help in the recovery process.

On that note, recovery can be hard. It's even harder if you don't have anyone to turn to, so I'm curious: do you have any sort of support system? Friends, family, a counsellor? Talking things through can make a huge difference. This isn't something you need to go through alone, so I urge you to let people help.

You mention that you tend to slip up at twenty eight days - maybe it could help to stop counting the days then. Just take each day as it comes, and forget about how long you've been free for - because, while it can be good to see how far you've come, it can also be intimidating and triggering in some ways. Also, remember that there's a difference between a slip up and a relapse. If you do hurt yourself, try to just move on, and think of it as a slip up - more like a bump in the road than a stop sign, you know?

I hope things work out well for you, and you start feeling better soon. Take care, and good luck.


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Re: Im a screw-up.. - November 20th 2011, 03:36 PM

Thank You, and I see a counselor and a psychatrist routinely, and they are working with me and my family isnt really that supportive, they try but they dont really know what to do.. I dont really have many alternatives.. My stride for perfectionism (I have OCD) and its like everything I try to do doesn't work.





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Re: Im a screw-up.. - November 21st 2011, 04:14 PM

Hello,

you are NOT a screwup! Sidhe is right, the fact that you are trying to stop and you even go a day without is something to be very proud of. Instead of thinking negatively about your addiction try to emphasize the positive things that you have accomplished. I know this is MUCH harder than it sounds. Instead of saying "I screwed up again" try to tell yourself "I want to stop, I will stop, I can go one more day" or "I made it 28 days and I know I'll go longer next time" Even just repeating affirming statements in your head will help, even if you don't believe them or you feel silly :P

Recovery is a very difficult process, and you are so strong to keep going and to want to stop. Just that is so difficult. Start giving yourself more credit. Once you have more confidence in yourself that you're not a screwup, you will find the urges shrinking and you'll feel much stronger in your steps to recovery.

Hang in there. It's unfortunate that you're not receiving much support from your family, but for many people SH is a very alien thing to understand. Remind yourself that they love and care for you and want to see you happy. Perhaps opening up to them more will help them to understand. Struggling with OCD must be making recovery very frustrating, because you want it done right away, but it takes years sometimes. Relapses are common. Don't ever think that you're a failure or that you will always relapse, because one day those urges will be gone. The scars will fade. And you will have beaten this! I know it's hard to imagine, but things do get better :]

Keep smiling, pm me anytime. Good luck, and try to remain positive!!
   
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