Trouble

[BOBACUSS]

My Girlfriend does self-injuring, due to the fact that she has very low self esteem and people always exploit her good nature and manage to screw her up, for example, 3 months ago she broke up with me for another guy, and i was sorta like but she wanted it so i was fine with it. until she started telling me she started self-injuring again, i asked her why and it was because he was treating her like crap. he was what you might call a skirt chaser. interested in how far into their pants he can get then when he figures out how far that is, ditches them for another girl and the process repeats. anyway, she called me one night and she was crying, and she said that he reminded her of her dad, who was abusive to her (he may still do it but idk) and he also reminded her of this girl that sexually abused her when she was little, and i just feel terrible, because no matter how hard i try to get her to stop hurting herself, she can't. she tries. i know she does. but she just cant stop hurting herself. i need help with this. apologies for the long/mostly off-subject post.

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

Firslty your girlfriend is lucky to have you. It's really good of you to be supportive and trying to help her through this.

It sounds like your girlfriend has had a tough past. Abuse is a horrible and terryfying thing for someone to experience and it often leaves the victim feeling unconfident and perhaps worthless. I can relate to why your girlfriend has self harmed to deal with what has happened and it's understandable that she is feeling the way she is.

Help is out there. Your girlfriend doesn't need to be alone but you also don't need to be the one responsible for her. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about reaching out for help, perhaps seeing her doctor and discussing counseling. If she is in school or college she can try talking to a tutor or a nurse/counselor there too. All of these people want to help her and they can support her but I do suggest you encourage her to reach out and engage with these people because they can only help if they know, and even then they can only do so much to help, she is going to have to keep strong at this and put in a lot of hard work and effort in to it as well.

Here is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm ... http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/. Perhaps you could print these of for your girlfriend and ask her to try them out. Remind her that they are not all going to work so it is about trial and error. That she's going to have to stick at it but that there will be ones which help her. Or you could even direct her to this site itself and let her come here for support.

Just try and be there for her but not that much that it starts to have a negative affect on you.

I really hope this helps.
Jessie