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Cowgirl13 Offline
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Why cant i stop for him? - November 27th 2011, 05:56 PM

Why can't i stop cutting?? My best friend used to cut and one day he just stopped and he thnks i can do the same but i cant. He figured it out a few months ago when i started going to the same school as him. HE confronted me and asked me to stop and i tried for awhile but couldnt, now its been almost a month and last night i almost slipped up my parents were yelling and mt little brother was crying, i called my best friend to tell him sorry but i had to cut and after i hung up with him i went up to my room to cut and with in 2 minutes he was in my room sitting there waiting for me to do it. Ive never been able to cut in front of anyone and he knows that so he was testing me and i didnt but now hes gone and i am soo tempted. He is with his gf and she hates me so idk what to do he took the razor i was gonna use last night but i have so many more but im scared of what will happen.
How do i just stop? and stop pushing everyone away
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Ambedo. Offline
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Re: Why cant i stop for him? - November 27th 2011, 07:11 PM

Hey there,

It sounds like your motivation for stopping is wrong. While it's great that you want to stop cutting yourself, you're doing it for someone else. In most cases, that isn't enough motivation to cause you to walk away from something that you're used to. The only way you'll truly be able to stop is when you want to, not for anyone else, but for yourself.

The fact that you posted this thread shows that you're already heading in that direction. Have you considered participating in the Butterfly Project? Here's a link to a thread with the rules: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...erfly-project/. It's a great way to deal with the pressure to SH. I participate in it myself, and it works quite well.

Take care,

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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Re: Why cant i stop for him? - November 27th 2011, 08:49 PM

Like what was said before, it's great that you want to stop but you have to have the right motivation. You have to do it for you and not anybody else because while you may be trying for someone else, it might not be enough to just stop, and it is definitely a long road ahead of you, not everybody can just instantly stop. Have you tried any of the alternatives that are listed on this site?

Let it come and let it be...

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Re: Why cant i stop for him? - November 28th 2011, 07:39 PM

I agree about the butterfly project. It really helps. PM me if you need to talk to someone.
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Re: Why cant i stop for him? - November 28th 2011, 08:21 PM

As others have mentioned stopping self-harm is hard. You have to want to stop and do it for yourself. I'm not saying it's not possible to stop for someone else, because surely it is, but most of the time it's bound to end badly.

For instance, one of my friends was psychologically addicted to marijuana. I explained to my friend how bad it is to smoke and she tried to stop for me. Within a month she was back smoking and she resented me for "making her something she's not". Now, I know marijuana isn't self-harm BUT it was still an addiction and she attempted to stop for me and it didn't end too well. Now, it's been over a year and she's free of marijuana because she stopped for herself after I explained to her how bad it is for her and pushed her to get well for herself rather than other people.

With that said, you should start focusing on getting well for yourself. Try the butterfly project as suggested above and take a look at the alternatives thread here on the site. Remember you are strong and you can get through this. You can beat self-harm.

I'm always a PM away.

Take care,
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