How can I not give in?

[Dragonfly.]

When I get upset the first thing I think about it self harm. It's not really that I want it but after the thought enters my mind I get urges. They seem to be getting worse. I used to be able to ignore them because they weren't very strong and I just thought it was just me thinking about it but now it's proper urges. It's hard to stop myself when i know where anything sharp is and that it is within my reach. I've been trying for a few days now and I don't know what to do. They are stronger.

How do you keep yourself from giving in? I don't want to let people down.

[Skeleton]

You've been able to make it the last few days without letting your urges get the best of you so I believe that you are strong enough to overcome them and not give in. If you feel yourself getting upset or you feel that your starting to feel the urge then try and remove yourself from the situation and do something that you know will cheer you up and help you forget about your urges. If you know where things are that you could use, when you're not feeling the urges, you should get rid of them if you can so that next time, you won't know where anything is.

If you need anyone to talk to, my pm box is always open x

[Celestial.]

Hi there.

Self harm is a tricky thing. Sometimes the urges get stronger, sometimes they fade away, and it can be hard to predict when each will happen. The thing is, though, that if you do give in to them, the urges are only going to get stronger. Every time you self harm, you convince yourself that it's okay, you let the urges win, and you take a step backwards in the recovery process. Every time you resist an urge, no matter how small, you take a step in the right direction.

Have you seen our list of alternatives? I've found them very useful when I have urges to self harm. Not all of them work for every person, so you just have to keep trying until you find some that work for you. One thing that could help is to write a list of reasons why you shouldn't hurt yourself, and stick that up somewhere visible; then just look at it when you're triggered, and remind yourself of why you're doing this.

I know how hard it is, when there are things you could use to hurt yourself, and you start to think, 'Why not?'. For example, whenever I'm in the kitchen, there's one 'tool' I used to use that always makes me want to hurt myself. It's not practical to get rid of it, so every time I see it and get triggered, I make sure to just leave the room - that's the best way I've found to avoid urges like that. If you're not in the same room, if you can't see it, you won't have those urges, or at least they won't be as strong. So if there are things you can get rid of, then do it. I know it seems like a big step, but it will help.

Take care, and stay strong. You can do this.