TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TheBabyEater Offline
With A Sprinkle Of Cinnamon
I've been here a while
********
 
TheBabyEater's Avatar
 
Name: Marissa
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Iraw

Posts: 1,705
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

My experience today. - November 30th 2011, 12:15 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, it's been a long time since I've posted in this forum, for a few reasons. One, I've pretty much heard all that can be said. Two, I just didn't want to listen to it anymore. But I'm hoping that maybe just one person will read this and think twice about hurting themselves next time.

WARNING: This will be long and probably VERY triggering.

I've been dealing with Self Harm for a few years now, quite a few. Since middle school I suppose, on and off. I'm in college now, so that's a good five or six years down the drain. Summers spent wearing long sleeves, suspicious looks from friends and family when I wore too many bracelets, even ridicule from classmates in the earlier years. Along with Self Harm, of course I've been dealing with severe depression and fear of delusions and hallucinations turning into full blown schizophrenia! There were moments when I had good reason to want to hurt myself, flashbacks from the past, family or friend deaths, ext. And there were moments when I had no reason to hurt myself at all. (granted, there is never ANY reason to, but you know how it is.)

But, long story short, it's recently gotten worse. I won't go into detail why, or the change of instruments used that has made it so much worse, but I think you all can guess or make your own assumptions. Last night I went too deep, and realized it as soon as I made the mistake. Again, no detail, but for anyone out there who has gone to deep, you know how quickly events can change. I covered it up as soon as I noticed, and called my boyfriends dad.

Today was the hard part. This wasn't something I could cover up and forget about. This was something I had to take care of, get real help for it to heal at all, much less properly. Looking back, I should have gone to the hospital immediately, but I'm staying at my aunts house and don't want to bother her. My boyfriend and his dad were insistent on at least doing stitches at home (I don't recommend just anyone doing this, his father is experienced in medicine) but I have had such a bad experience with my first stitches as a kid, I was more insistent on no stitches. The end result, some makeshift butterfly stitches (hyped up bandaids), some peroxide and neosporin, wrap wrap and more wrap to keep it all together.

The worse moment was asking my own loved boyfriend to help hold everything together while his dad taped it up. It was horrifying to even look at, much less imagine if I had to do something like that for my own boyfriend.

I never want to make the two people I love most do something like that again - hold together my arm while they tried everything to... help.


So next time you think about doing something like this - imagine the person you love the most. There is someone, whether you realize it or not, someone out there that loves you. Imagine them having to do something like this. I didn't want to go into detail, but if you're serious about this, go into detail yourself. After experiencing this, I know I'll never ever do something like this again.


Don't let it happen to you



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



  Send a message via Skype™ to TheBabyEater 
4 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Formerly Puppy-Sized Elephant
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
ElsatheDepressionSlayer's Avatar
 
Name: Elsa
Age: 24
Gender: Female

Posts: 994
Join Date: July 19th 2011

Re: My experience today. - November 30th 2011, 12:28 AM

Thanks for sharing, and I'm really sorry you had to go through this. Stay strong <3
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Stargazed. Offline
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Stargazed.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 3,532
Join Date: October 3rd 2010

Re: My experience today. - November 30th 2011, 12:48 AM

Thank you for sharing this, dear. I understand how you're feeling. My boyfriend had to tape up my wrist once and it was the hardest thing I've ever had him do. I hope you are okay. Stay strong. You can do this. <3
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Disappearing Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Disappearing's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 991
Join Date: November 20th 2011

Re: My experience today. - November 30th 2011, 06:49 PM

Thanks for sharing. Hope you heal well.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Everglow.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hollie
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 4,898
Blog Entries: 733
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: My experience today. - December 1st 2011, 04:26 PM

Thank you for sharing this. I'm really sorry this happened to you and you've had such a hard time. I hope you know, even if you don't want to hear the same advice over and over again, I'm here if you want support. Even if it's just someone to rant at, I'm okay with that. I hope you heal well and get yourself through this.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
TheBabyEater Offline
With A Sprinkle Of Cinnamon
I've been here a while
********
 
TheBabyEater's Avatar
 
Name: Marissa
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Iraw

Posts: 1,705
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: My experience today. - December 1st 2011, 10:25 PM

Thanks a lot you guys. I'm really okay now though, it was rough at first but we talked about it a lot, I got meds to last me over until my next refill. I'm actually kind of excited to start this whole new "not hurting myself" thing and hopefully helping others to do the same.



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



  Send a message via Skype™ to TheBabyEater 
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
experience, today

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.