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suicidaldreams Offline
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Unhappy I'm conflicted - November 30th 2011, 09:24 PM

So I'm in partial-patient at the hospital and this is the third week ive been there. My friends, including my boyfriend, want me out of there because they dont think that it will help at all. They want me to lie and say that i made a stupid mistake and that i dont ever want to self harm or anything again. And they want me to tell my dad that. But i cant do that it will be obvious that im lieing because of how long ive been there and how ive talked about things. I cant just suddenly switch my story and expect them to believe it. some of the people there are kinda stupid but they're not that stupid.
I want to see my friends and everything and i know they mean well but its kinda stressing me out. I have dealt with depression for so long and the cutting has gotten sorta serious lately and i dont really want to stop. the only thing that is starting to get me to is my boyfriend since it hurts him so much when i do it.
he said that i have my friends to talk to and everything. and i told him that i've had friends to talk to. talking doesnt really help that much all the time. i just dont know what to do to solve this. im so tempted to just give up and try to get through it on my own. no doctors nothing.
i dont want people to worry about me, thats why i dont tell them my problems because they will get scared.
i dont feel like anything will be fixed either way... I just dont know what to do. I get a little hope and then it goes away. I feel so helpless...
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ALittleLost Offline
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Re: I'm conflicted - November 30th 2011, 10:05 PM

Hi hun, I'm Maggie.
I know your friends mean well, and i know you miss them, but don't try to lie your way out of the hospitol. it'll only make things worse.
Be honest with the people there. It really helps to vent and talk about how you're feeling.
Also, i know you said your friends think they can help you, and they can...but not completely. Having a professional to talk to is really helpful cuz they know how to help you with what your dealing with, and your friends might not be able to help you the way a professional can.
I promise this'll get easier. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to!

"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise"
-Les Miserables

"All these thoughts locked inside, now you're the the first to know"
-"It ends tonight" All-American Rejects

"You built up a world of magic, because you're real life is tragic"
-"Brick by Boring Brick" Paramore
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suicidaldreams Offline
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Re: I'm conflicted - December 1st 2011, 03:39 AM

yeah you're right thanks a lot
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