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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Having a relapse here. - December 14th 2011, 01:46 AM

I used to cut, and then around the beginning of July I stopped, and I've been cut free ever since. However, recently, I've been wanting to start again more than ever. I always wanted to, but I could resist. I haven't done anything stupid yet, but I came on here to stop myself from going that far. A couple times already though, I went as far as pressing a scissor blade to my inner arm, but I didn't cut.

A couple of months ago, I promised myself something to stop myself from cutting again. I said that if something were to happen in my life that made me so desperate that I'd need to start cutting again, like a family member died, then I wouldn't even try to stop myself. However, I said that I wouldn't cut until that happened. Well, it hasn't happened, but I am two seconds away from starting again.

I need help like now. If I do it even once, then I'm sure I won't be able to stop there and move on. When I used to do it, I would do half a dozen cuts at once before moving on. Oh, and telling someone is out of the question. My parents never knew in the first place, and my only friend who did know swore that she'd tell them if I started again, and we're fighting right now anyways. I just need something to stop myself from making this mistake again. Thank you a million times.
   
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Re: Having a relapse here. - December 14th 2011, 01:56 AM

Have you checked out the alternatives forum at http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/
It has a bunch of things you can try. Just keep trying until you find what works for you. A lot of people who SH have a relapse now and then. The important thing is just to keep trying, and not to think that since you SHd once, you have to again. PM me anytime you need to talk.
   
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Re: Having a relapse here. - December 14th 2011, 06:42 AM

Hey there.

I've been where you are. I know how hard it is. But I also know it gets better. Being self harm free for that long is a great achievement, and you should definitely be proud of it. It's natural to still have urges, and sometimes they're worse that others. The list of distractions that the user above me posted is something that I've found useful myself, and I think it's worth a look. Also, when you feel triggered, try to remember all the reasons you stopped, to give yourself motivation to go on without self harm.

Another thing that could motivate you is the knowledge that if you do hurt yourself now, you'll only get sucked back into that vicious cycle. That's why it's important to stop yourself from doing it now. Remember how bad you'd feel after you cut, and remember that you don't want to feel that way again. Remind yourself of how far you've come, and how much you'd lose if you did give up now.

I hope I helped. You're welcome to PM me if you want.

Take care, and good luck.


let no science fix our path
if only numbers make its math.
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Re: Having a relapse here. - December 23rd 2011, 03:45 AM

Yes, I've checked out the alternatives forum several times- sometimes they help, but sometimes I just end up sitting on my floor almost in tears as I wait for the feeling to pass, and that can sometimes take a very long time. During the time when I cut, it was about getting out my emotions, but then I guess you could say I became addicted to the pain. Honestly, I like pain. Not anything too bad, but cutting gave me such a thrill. And then there was the blood. I started to cut to bleed and feel pain, even when I was feeling fine. Dealing with my emotions I can do, but I still desperately want to feel the pain and see myself bleed. Since I asked the question, I still haven't cut, but I've had a few fairly strong urges.
   
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Re: Having a relapse here. - December 23rd 2011, 11:07 PM

Hi again.

The thing is, an alternative that works for you most of the time may not always work. So if one doesn't work, try another. Maybe the act of finding an alternative can be a distraction in itself, you know?

If the problem is that you like the pain, try some of the alternatives that give you a similar sensation - or even any sensation at all. Splash cold water on your face, rub moisturiser on yourself, anything that's safe. And if it's the blood, try some of the alternatives which create a similar effect - nail polish, for example, or just drawing on yourself in red pen.

I'm glad you haven't hurt yourself. If you got through those urges, you can get through more, right?

Good luck.


let no science fix our path
if only numbers make its math.
🎕
   
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