I have some questions

[Rebekah231369]

Okay so I've been dealing with a lot of stuff during the last month my SH became a every day thing and my friends got worried so my one friend called me today and said he was giving me a week to tell my mom or he was going to. I was so scared it made me sick but I remember reading on here about giving your parents a letter so that's what I did. She came into my room crying she took my scissors asked me a few questions and said she was gonna call about a counselor I said no so she agreed withthay and just wanted to check me every now and then I said that was fine. But at the end if our talk she begged for me to go to counseling so I agreed. I would rather not go but it would make my mom happy I'm really scared about it. So I was wondering how your guys counseling has went. Also I'm going a little crazy knowing I can't SH do you guys ever have that? There's a different between saying your not gone SH and not having the option to. I really hope someone reads this

[Celestial.]

Hey there.

I think it's great you remembered the idea of writing her a letter, and used it. It sounds like she really cares about you, and just wants the best. It's natural that you were scared, and that she was upset. Self harm can affect not just the person who does it, but those close to them as well. It's also not an easy thing to open up about, so I'm glad you were able to do that.

I think that counselling could actually help, as long as you approach it with an open mind. If you go into it thinking it won't help, then it won't. If you go into it thinking that it could help, however, it may well do. Most people are scared when they first go into counselling, or even when they change counsellors. That's okay, as long as you don't let it stop you from getting the help you need.

Going to counselling really depends on the person, the reason behind it, and the counsellor. For me, I've seen two counsellors, one of whom didn't help at all, and the other of whom did. As long as you see one who's professional and understanding, you shouldn't have too much to worry about. It might be uncomfortable at first, and it's okay not to feel like opening up right away - just give it time, and the trust will start growing. Be as open and honest as you can, and let them help you.

It definitely is different when the option to self harm is taken away from you, as opposed to deciding not to self harm by yourself. In the former, it's like the control is taken away from you, and I know that with self harm, control can be a big factor. Just try to remember that it's for the best, and that someday you won't feel the need to hurt yourself. In the meantime, you could try some of our alternatives.

I hope I helped, and I hope things go well with the counsellor.

Take care.

[Le bonheur*]

Hi there.

I'm so proud of you for writing your mother a letter and actually giving it to her. That's a great way to express yourself and it sounds like it worked for you. Your mother sounds like she's a great supporter of you. She only wants the best for you and I think as long as you try counseling, it'll be enough for her.

When I started counseling, I was very reluctant to open up to someone who I didn't know. Being very shy and very scared, was not a good mix. However, I got evaluated and I started seeing this lady. I connected well with her and I was with her from years 2009-2011. She ended up moving to a different state and I just started with a new therapist. Personally, I really enjoy counseling. I get to talk as much, or as little, as I want with someone who truly understands and wants the best for me. I'm currently going on a month with this new doctor and I am very glad I started therapy in the first place.

I'm not going to lie, it's really hard to stop self-harming. It becomes something you're used to and a coping skill. So, to come out of that, it's going to take a lot of hard work and effort. You have to WANT to stop. You have to learn how to cope with the urges and eventually, they'll lessen to almost nothing. Take a look at the alternatives link posted in the post above mine. You may find something beneficial to your recovery.

I wish you the best of luck.

Take care.

[Rebekah231369]

Thank both of you! That helped me a lot. I'm a really shy person and it takes me a long time to turst someone so i don't know how it will work out but all my friends are backing me up and so is my family so I think I can do it. Yesterday all my friends called me and said they were so proud of me and that they couldn't of ever done that. My one friend when I told her she was in school she said she started crying and had to leave the class room that made me feel soo good knowing people are proud of me