Is there something wrong with me?

[Admon]

For the last couple months I've just been thinking that like I want to do something to myself. Idk what. I've actually thought about just little things. Like having an accident at work where I just get burned by hot water or accidently get cut a bit by a knife. I have no idea why I would have these thoughts. My life hasn't been the best by any means at all. but its not all that bad either. I've been having a lot of problems with my bestfriend whom i also like recently. That may be the culprit. I think maybe its kinda like if you get a small cut or something, you punch your arm to stop thinking about the pain of the cut. Do I want to distract myself from the pain of her not loving me? Or is there just something wrong. I've never cut or done anything of the sort, which is why these thoughts kinda worry me

[Admon]

Oh I also wanted to ask. This girl I was talking about is really my best friend and we can talk to eachother about everything. she knows how I feel about her. But she doesn't know that I've had these thoughts. Should I talk to her about it? Or just keep to myself

[Celestial.]

Hey there.

First off, no, there's nothing wrong with you. I think it's great you reached out before these thoughts got worse. I've had these thoughts myself, even before I started self harming, so I know how you feel. It can help to think a bit about them.

Next time you have one of these thoughts, ask yourself: What am I feeling? Why do I want to do this? What would it achieve? Knowing why you want to do something can help stop you from actually doing it, you know? If you think the cause is your friend (who of course doesn't mean to be), then you need to deal with that. How you do that is up to you - but just remember that hurting yourself won't be enough of a distraction to make the pain go away.

It's good that instead of hurting yourself, you wrote this post instead. That way you can stop things before they escalate. One thing I usually advise current, recovering, and even potential self harmers, is to talk about it. So if the thoughts are bothering you, talking to your friend might help. The important thing is not to try to go through this yourself - there's absolutely no need to. It sounds like she cares about you, and would want to help.

Good luck, and take care.

[Dez]

Hi,

I agree with Chess that there isn't anything wrong with you. Thank you for posting these thoughts, like she said, they may get worse. Talking about it is a good idea because I have noticed that when you talk about your problems things get sorted out, and sometimes as you're saying something you work out a problem without even realizing that you are actually doing it. It may also be a good idea to write out whatever is bothering you at the time. I have found this helpful. Take some time out of your day and write somewhere (in a notebook, somewhere on your computer, etc) and write about everything that went on in your day and how you felt about it, and then once you feel a bit better, whether it is an hour from then or a day from then, whenever you feel up to it, you can look back and determine what is making you want to hurt yourself. Writing it out also gets out everything that you are feeling all at once, which is always good. Hurting yourself is never a good way to deal with the pain because you aren't actually solving the underlying problem and then it will keep coming back. So, talk and write about it to try and figure things out.

Stay strong,
-Dez