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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy everything is triggering! :( - December 21st 2011, 01:21 PM

Everything is killing me lately guys I went to the dentist earlier and the blood I was tasting and spitting out triggered me like you wouldn't believe. Assisting in an elementary school classroom I cut out a lot of patterns and such, scissors and such are tempting. Every time I turn around there's another trigger. anything and everything innocent. What do I do?
   
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Re: everything is triggering! :( - December 21st 2011, 05:13 PM

Hi there.

Part of recovery from self harm is about dealing with the urges. I suggest when something like this happens you try using an alternative. Here's a list of a load of them ... http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. Not everything on here will help you so it's all about trial and error. If something triggers you when you're out with friends or what ever, I suggest you stay with them. Don't leave them. You don't have to talk to them or anything, but stay with them and do something to make your mind focus on that instead of what has triggered you.

I know it's hard but you're in control of your actions and you can beat the urges. Keep reminding yourself of your strength because it's there. I know it's really difficult but you can do this, don't stop trying. It will be worth it.

Look after yourself.
Jessie.


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Re: everything is triggering! :( - December 21st 2011, 10:41 PM

Hey Vicky.

I can definitely relate to this. The trick is, as Jessie pointed out, to distract yourself. Work through some different alternatives until you find some that work. And above all, remember: you're worth more than this. You don't have to hurt yourself - you have the power not to, and you should remind yourself of that when you feel triggered.

If you're in a public place, just remind yourself that you can't self harm there. Then distract yourself until you get home. For example, after the dentist, you could go for a walk until you've calmed down a bit. If you feel yourself start to get triggered, or see something that could potentially trigger you, try to draw your attention away from it as fast as you can. If the blood at the dentist triggers you, find something else to focus on - list five other things you can smell, taste, hear, feel, or see; imagine how you would decorate the room if it was your bedroom; try to picture what the dentist does in their free time (plays golf, perhaps, or maybe they have a hobby, like stamp collecting). Do whatever you can to get your mind off it.

One thing I've heard of, actually I think I found out about it through this site, is to think of an innocent use for whatever you want to hurt yourself with. The scissors - just picture them (or, in your case, you could even just see them) being used by children to make patterns, and imagine that's all the scissors are for. If it's a knife, picture it being used to cut a child's birthday cake. Do you see where I'm going with this? I've found it to be quite a useful technique.

All in all, triggers can be hard to avoid - so you have to learn to deal with them instead. Each time you resist an urge, give yourself a treat, like watching an episode of your favourite show or reading a chapter of a good book. Remind yourself that you can do this, and that you only get stronger by fighting the urges.

Take care, and good luck.


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Re: everything is triggering! :( - December 22nd 2011, 12:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sidhe. View Post
One thing I've heard of, actually I think I found out about it through this site, is to think of an innocent use for whatever you want to hurt yourself with. The scissors - just picture them (or, in your case, you could even just see them) being used by children to make patterns, and imagine that's all the scissors are for. If it's a knife, picture it being used to cut a child's birthday cake. Do you see where I'm going with this? I've found it to be quite a useful technique.
This is wonderful. Scissors can be used for constructive things too, not just destructive ones! I find it is helpful to take the focus off of myself and reconnect with my inner respect for all existence - including the scissors, knives, blood, whatever. I respect each of them, and I want to cultivate a positive relationship with them, just as I can cultivate a good relationship with the trees on the sidewalk and the cup that's holding my drinking water right now. And if I can't do that at the moment, then I try to bring to mind how these major triggers for me have helped other people and contributed to joy and nourishment in other people's lives - cutting a birthday cake is a great one. All the furniture in everyone's homes, and the planks of wood that are used to build homes - it wouldn't have been possible without sharp things. And blood, well, blood makes so much life possible.

Also - not making a big deal out of the experience of being triggered. This gives it less power. Sometimes, the more we actively fight against something, the more we are actually allowing it to strengthen in our consciousness - the complete opposite effect, which sometimes may not become obvious until it's a bit late. The more we fear, the more we anticipate being triggered and losing control, the more power we give it. The mind is very tricky. Getting to know your mind and body and how it might be playing tricks is very valuable, when it comes to choosing the right way to respond/the right alternatives or distractions to employ.

How might this work? So, we're doing something "innocent" and notice ourselves becoming triggered - we just notice it, breathe consciously with it for a while, and then return to the task, again and again. Breathing in, I am aware of a thought/feeling/image/sensation arising in me. Breathing out, I gently let it go. Depending on how explicitly triggering the activity is, it may or may not work; sometimes walking away is the only protection - like, stumbling upon an act of self-harm take place on a TV screen.

Hang in there; you're not alone!


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Re: everything is triggering! :( - December 22nd 2011, 02:49 PM

i know exactly what you mean. its driving me crazy..
   
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Re: everything is triggering! :( - December 23rd 2011, 12:16 PM

The thing is I've been a self harmer from age 7 or 8. I seriously don't see any other escape besides the rush of a cut
   
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Re: everything is triggering! :( - December 23rd 2011, 07:48 PM

I get this happen to me a lot and what I do that helps me is every time something triggers me I just remind myself of the very good reasons why I stopped and all the reasons why i shouldn't do it again and I repeat them in my head over and over. Maybe if you try that it would help you too
   
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