Dont know :/

[asherzxd]

Ive been cutting for 4 years on and off. lately its been worse, i had over 4 months cf, but about a month ago It got harder. I keep getting confused, between cutting or not [if its a bad/ good thing]
I dont want this. I feel all alone, and I know its not true, but I feel like Im the only one going through this :/
I honestly dont know what to.
Im sorreh if this didnt make sense >_<

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

Firstly well done for coming to us here at TeenHelp for some support and advice. I really think that is a positive step in the right direction. I also want to remind you that you're not alone in this. So many people go through similar things as to what you're going through right now and you're certainly not the only one who has struggled with dealing with self harm.

Well done for going four months self harm free, that is amazing and something you need to hold on to. Beating self harm is incredibly hard and I can relate to how it feels. Recovery from self harm isn't easy. It is hard, it does take time and it is going to be tiring but none of that means that it isn't possible to beat this, get through it and live a life with out self harm. You can beat it. As hard as it is you're the only one who can stop you from hurting yourself. You're in control of your actions and although the urges get hard and I can relate to that, you can beat them.

Do you use any distractions? Here is a list of self harm alternatives. I really want to encourage you to try using these. I'm not going to tell you that using these is going to make everything okay because they aren't. They're not going to solve the reason to why you're feeling so low but either is self harm. The difference between self harm and alternatives is that using the alternatives will help you beat the urges, will help you beat self harm. You can start self harming and it can be just nothing serious but it can get worse and when it gets worse and you know, you're needing medical attention a lot etc, you're putting yourself at risk and either way, bad or not, you don't want to get to a point where you feel self harm is keeping you alive. I don't know if you feel you've been there before but it's not a nice place to be and you don't deserve to be at that stage.

Do whatever it takes to distract yourself and keep yourself safe when you feel like you're going to hurt yourself. Go for a run, walk for hours, read until you fall to sleep without knowing it, punch a pillow until your anger is all out, scream until you lose your voice, cry until there are no more tears, do anything to keep you safe because you are so worth it. You don't deserve the pain you would be inflicting upon yourself and this is beatable. You are worth it and I do believe you have the strength to get through this.

At the end of the day you can self harm as much as you want too, but it's not and never will solve the underlying problem so that chances are high that the urges are always going to come back and you're just going to find yourself going around in circles. And the way to beat that is to beat the urges as hard as they are.

I don't know what's causing you to feel so low that you want to hurt yourself but if you want to talk about it, if there is anything, then you are more than welcome to do so. We'll try our best to help and support you as much as we can.

Are you getting any support outside of TeenHelp? If not perhaps that would be something good to look in to. Even if it's just having a parent, a friend, even a teacher to chat to and let out your emotions. Or you can see a doctor and look in to counseling to try and help you sort through the issues you are having. You are never alone in this, people care so don't be on your own.

Look after yourself and keep yourself safe. You're worth it.
Jessie