Confused

[Tayra]

Okay so I feel completely alone in life, my best friend lived with me for a few months and she moved away about 2 weeks ago so I have no one now, i don't have many friends and the friends i do have i don't tell them my problems, my mom is never there for me, I'm scared of my dad and his wife, my step brother is deep in drugs, and I'm not close to my other siblings so I have no one another of my problems is that when I was young I was abused by my mother's ex-boyfriend and my mom said I was lying when I told her so anyways I tried cutting myself for the first time when I was 11 years old but after that I stopped until I was 14 then I did it a few more times and stopped until about 5 months ago (I'm 16) and since then I can't stop and it use to only be on my upper leg then it moved to my lower leg and now my entire arm and wrist is covered in long deep cuts, four people know I cut myself my mom, my bestfriend, my cousin, and the pastor of the church I go to. My bestfriend just said she didn't like my doing that, the pastor just said "god will help you", my mom just flat out doesn't care, and my cousin actually helped because she understands me, but she lives 30 mins away and I never see her she offered for me to come live with her and I want to but my mother would never let me but I really think it would help me because she's been through way more then me and she actually cares about me hurting myself (btw she's 34, not my age) I'm also bulimic (no one knows) anyways any advice would be useful to me at this point so please help me. Thanks

[escape_thereal_world]

First, welcome to TeenHelp.

Now onto your post. Can you try to ask your mother if you can stay with your cousin for awhile? Not permanently, but for awhile. Maybe a week or over the weekends? This way you're getting out of the house and with someone who treats you well and can help you. Hopefully your mom will be open to letting you go with family for a few days now and then.

Also,why are you afraid of your dad and his wife? Have they hurt you?

A for your step brother, there isn't much you can do. If you care for him, let him know you will be there for him when he is ready to get help. The rest is up to him. If he doesn't want to be clean, then he won't be. When he wants to get clean and finds some support, then good. He is making progress.

If you go to school, you can talk to the counselors. They might tell your parents you cut, though. Have you tried any alternatives to cutting? One I love is the Butterfly Project. There are different variations but one of my favorites is here, which was actually brought to my attention by a TH user.
We also have a list of alternatives to self harm on TH here. Very long list so it gives so many options!

Feel free to PM me anytime. Take care. You can beat all of this! You sound like such an intelligent person. You can definitely do better than what you're surrounded with.