This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
I sit in the shower, singing while cutting my wrist while wearing the biggest smile on my face. What is wrong with me? I'm so happy when I can cut deeper. I feel like I'm insane. I'm so addicted to pain. I try to push myself farther each time. I don't know. My life is falling apart. My heart is breaking. I hate my life. I hate everything.
Self Harm is addictive and sometimes it can feel good to start. but you need to know it's not good for you, it's just ruining your body. I would suggest talking a look at the alternatives thread, it will help to distract you while the urges fade. It is trial and error so therefore not all of them may work for you, but hang in there and you WILL find one that does.
Have you thought about talking to someone you trust about this, such as a familly member? Someone that can help and support you through this.
If you ever want/need to talk, feel free to PM me,
Take care and stay strong,
'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'
Helplink mentor 19/03/11
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