Triggering: I DID IT WITHOUT KNOWING WHY

[Charlai]

I hate myself i did it and i was going so good i stopped on 06-10-11 and then i did it on 10-01-12 and idky i just felt like i was exploding on the inside and almost like i couldn't cope. i felt useless, pointless like i was just taking up space and i know the consequences of my actions and i still did it and i didn't care. now it hurts like hell and to stop the pain i did it again and i think i might do it again but i want to stop is just that i have a lot of stuff on the inside bottled up but when i think about all my problems it's not that much but it's too much for me to deal with idk what to do.

[Amberpamber]

Hey Charlai,

I totally understand where you are coming from. I too at times get so much on my mind that I just feel like I'm going to explode but yet look at everything they all seem "stupid" or "pointless". Everything we go through in life effects people different ways. Whatever you got bottled up inside needs to come out. Feel free to blog your thoughts, or find someone to talk to in chat, you could also PM me if you ever need anything. You can win this battle. <3

[bailatyvm]

Hey there;

I understand when emotions become completely overwhelming, but you have to recognize that you haven't failed. In fact, you've done a great job. To stop for that long is an AMAZING feat. You really just need to look back at the past for a second. What have you been doing for so long that was helping you stop? What was it that triggered you to do it again? Is it the same thing that made you start in the first place? Look for patterns; often that will help you figure out what you need to do.

[Dez]

Hi,

I know that it may be hard now, but know that you haven't failed. Like what was said before, going this long without self harm was a really great accomplishment, and you shouldn't undermine that at all. I agree that you should look for patterns of things that may be triggering. One thing that you may want to do is keep a journal of your feelings, not just the bad things, but the good as well. Be sure to write down when the incident happened, how it made you feel, and if it triggered you. Even write down when you are triggered out of nowhere and what time it happened to see if there is a certain time of day that this is happening more. When you are feeling better, you can revisit these things and try to work it out. Find ways to express yourself as well, and alternatives that work for you, such as whatever alternative that made you go for as long as you did. You are doing a great job and this is just a temporary bump in the road, you can do this. Stay strong, and PM me if you ever need anything.

-Dez

[Charlai]

I do talk to someone btw forgot to mention that and yeah you guys made some really cool suggestions so THANKS. I'd hug you all through the screen if I could

[Childish Giggle]

hey there,
Bottling up emotions is a very unhealthy habit. It is important to let them out. A lot of us go for cutting after keeping the emotions inside for too long. You just reach a point where you have to just let it out. And in situations like these you can end up making some very serious cuts. So I'll say that find a way to let these out. Maybe talking to someone, sharing your feelings can help. Find a way that works for you.
Stay strong<3 and I am a PM/VM away if you need to talk!