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Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
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Name: Sam
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Join Date: July 19th 2011

I Screwed Up . . Again. - January 19th 2012, 01:43 PM

UGH. I'm back to square one because of a stupid technicality. I was playing with my dog and he scratched me while he was trying to get his toy back. I kinda liked the feeling, ya know? It was just something familiar. So, I kept getting myself into positions where I knew he would have to scratch me to get his toy. For example, I would hold the toy higher up so he would wrap his front legs around my arm . . and scratch while he was trying to keep his grip. I talked to a couple people about it and we decided it counts as self harm because I was doing it with the intention of hurting myself through that feeling. So, yeah . . back at square one. I know I always tell people not to get discouraged when they slip. I'm not really discouraged. I'm gonna start over. But, it's still really hard not to be mad at myself.

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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Bessy95 Offline
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Re: I Screwed Up . . Again. - January 19th 2012, 04:29 PM

Its ok, old habits die hard. Its normal to be mad at yourself, but give yourself some credit for wanting to improve though. You said your gonna start over, thats fantastic. No matter how many setbacks you have, dont give up because the longer you go without cutting, the stronger it will make you
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Solivagant Offline
Previously Apple of your eye
I've been here a while
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Re: I Screwed Up . . Again. - January 19th 2012, 06:18 PM

Hey Sammi,
YOu went 2 weeks without it! So congrats on that!
And as for being mad, well its a good sign if you ask me. It shows your desire to want to stop. And you know very well that its impossible to stop if you don't have that desire. So, use this feeling in a positive manner, instead of a negative manner. Make this your strength and go longer without it. Whenever you feel like cutting, remember this feeling.
I hope that helped. PM me anytime <3 Stay strong

"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
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Re: I Screwed Up . . Again. - January 20th 2012, 02:54 AM

Hi Sammi. I know that you're feeling discouraged right now, but this is still an improvement. As others have told me, just reach for farther than the last amount of time you went without it. Slip-ups happen. But as I told you yesterday, you realized what was going on & that it isn't healthy. That's a big deal & something to be proud of. Hang in there & I'm here if you ever want to talk.
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