Your relationship with your scars?

[lovatoac]

I'm very curious how you feel about your scars! Some people love them, some people hate them, they trigger some people, or stop others from cutting.

For me, I wish I could choose when I had my scars. I love them most of the time because they stop me from cutting. I don't really know why that is, but they do. Also, i have a scar on my arm that says "Help Me" and the words aren't really noticeable unless you really look at it, but I feel like it was my way of letting the world know how much I am hurting inside.

Other days, like at my job interview, I wish I could just make them disapear. I mean, it's winter in Maine right now, so they are easy to cover up, but I am working in Los Angeles for a month this summer and I'm scared of what people with think.

I feel like my scars are something only other SHers would really understand. I can't talk about them with other people.

[Thirteen]

We had a thread about this before, but it's way back in the history. So, I guess I'll answer this.

Personally, I have this love/hate thing with them. I mean, on the one hand, it's kind of like a marker of strength and weakness all in one. They're also a nuisance though, since I hate having to hide most of them from most people.

[allow_me]

I like the way they look, and they're nice to look at in my opinion, but sometimes they really embarrass me. I usually have mine covered up in some way. I don't really like wearing swim suits or anything that shows off my legs. So I guess to some extent I like them, but I don't like other people seeing them or asking questions about them.

[Iris. ♥]

Like Julz said, I have a love/hate relationship with them. They remind me of everything that I've been through and how far I have come since it started. But, they also remind me that there were times when I was too weak to handle it without doing something harmful.

[Max_99]

I love my scars, I have some sort of a weird relief when I see them and I feel comfort looking at them. Mine are slowly fading out and healing and getting smaller, but as they fade, I start to miss them and I definately feel the urge to cut more and make them deeper and deeper, make them deep and in great quantity.


Usually I really love them, I like to look at them and know why they're there, know that today is a better day. Then I'll have a moment where somebody asks me about them or calls me a name and I'll feel embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, and dissappointed in myself. I'll be miserable and self-conscious.

It also depends on WHO sees them though. I don't want my boyfriend or family to ever see them, and definately not teachers or doctors/therapists, but anyone else at school or in public, I'm open to and more than happy to discuss them with, it gives me a chance to inform them.

[Angeal]

I love/hate them because they remind me of my weakness and that causing me to loose the love of my life. I love them becuase their just that, scars, they remind me each time I look at them that I am strong enough to overcome this and I will make it.

[Le bonheur*]

I hate how they look on me but they remind me of how I am and what I've been through.

[amystery]

Personally I hate most of my scars, but I guess thats mostly because I hate knowing what I've done to myself. I'm trying to become more comfortable with them but its a struggle. Last year when things were pretty rough for me I stopped caring who saw them for a while because I realize nobody really noticed or made a big deal out of them. (More often then not though they were just scratches though an not cuts in that case) I think the worst think for me is that nobody really knows about my SH so one day having to explain them will be that much harder. I think its a good portion of the reason I'm trying to quit...because I don't want ot have to explain to my future husband or boyfriend that I use to want to hurt myself, or to my kids and family or anyone I care about. I can't even begin to imagine what it would do to me to have to look a child in the eyes and try and explain why I have scars.

[Barbed Lungs]

I hate my scars, but if I had the chance to get rid of them I don't think I would, they tell a story and they're part of me whether I like it or not, they remind me on a daily basis that I should never pretend i'm someone i'm not.

[buttercup13]

i also have a love/hate relationship with my scars they've remind me of everything I've overcome so far and i love them for that but when i meet new people and they give me a funny looks/ ask what happened i wish they'd disappear because people don't understand cutters they see scars and think you're all messed up in the head and i can't stand the i feel sorry for you looks. Also when my nephews (all under the age of 7) ask what happened it gets really awkward

[Nadroj]

I kind of love my scars. I like how they look and I like talking about it with friends who also cut. I hate having to hide them though. I feel like they're a part of who I am and what I've been through and it really frustrates me that society sees cutting as.. so taboo and awful that if I showed them there would be a lot of bad reactions. I mean not that cutting is good or anything - I just don't think it should be a reason for people to treat you badly/like you're crazy - which sometimes people do when they see your scars.

I think scars are really beautiful though. On me at least - Seeing scars on my friends makes me sad.

[Palmolive]

I can't stand my scars. Maybe if they weren't as bad or were just several it would be easier. I don't know. All I can think of is how weak I am that I have to do this to myself and how they make me disgusting.

[Nostalgia]

I hate my scars I feel so ashamed of them I'd rather they were not there but they are , they also make me think what is another cut going to do other than another scar. I also sometimes like them and want them there, but I always hate them.

[Seebeyondthesurface]

I like my scars too. Except there are some that I don't like because they bring back the feelings I felt that night and they are hard to hide but they are going away. My other ones though I like. I think of just what I went through and how alone I was and that I have grown and am recovering from it and I did it by myself which is huge for me!

[Beth Jane]

I don't mind the scars on my arms, even if they're harder to hide. what really bothers me are the scars on my hipbones - it puts me off showing my body, not because of people asking questions but they seem so much uglier on my body than they do on my arms. I'm not really sure why.

[Heartlines.]

I don't get the whole "loving my scars". For me, I absolutely hate mine. I hate that there is something no one will never know about me. I hate that I have to explain it to everyone who asks. Because I am ashamed. I hate wearing long sleeve shirts in the summer. I hate that they still hurt and they still bulge. I hate that I let myself do that to me when I know there are better ways to cope.

[SM13]

I hate my scars because they remind me how many times I've failed. They are also hard to cover up and I'm paranoid about people seeing them. They also are a trigger when I see them they make me remember how it feels sand it makes me wanna do it again. Not fun.

[SM13]

I hate my scars because they remind me how many times I've failed. They are also hard to cover up and I'm paranoid about people seeing them. They also are a trigger when I see them they make me remember how it feels and it makes me wanna do it again. Not fun.

[EmisaurusRex]

at the place i am in life right now, i'm ashamed and disgusted with mine. they're some of my biggest secrets. it's such a barrier in my life. and more often than not, it makes me feel like it doesn't matter if i add more.

but, in the past, when i'd gone awhile without SH, as embarassed as i was by them, i also knew that it was part of my story, a chapter that (i thought at the time) was in the past, and that didn't define me. i never would have shown anyone back then either, but it was still like..."okay, this happened, but i need to move on now." if that makes sense. unfortunately, things changed, and i'm back to my current place in life, but...workin on it!

[Dez]

I like how they look and stuff, but when I look at them sometimes I want to do more and more, which I obviously can't do. The only time I'm embarrassed with them is around my family. I'm perfectly fine with wearing short sleeves or whatever in school, even if they're still kinda noticeable, but depending on who's around I hide the arm.

[Unfortunate]

I also have a love/hate relationship with them. I love them when i see them, it reminds me how much better i have gotten from the beginning. This is really weird but i actually hate when the start to disapear, i don't know why its like that. :/
I hate them when i need to hide them. Like in Gym. And swimming. I also hate them because they trigger me, it makes me think how much i miss it. Thats probably why ive failed so many times..

[UnicornNamedSheldon]

I love my scars.
They all tell a different story.
I understand how alot of people dont like them, but personally, i do like them.
They remind me of memories.

[TheCrowing]

I always think about how much I dislike my scars.. but I feel like if they all randomly disappeared someday, I'd be a bit upset.. maybe unsteady. They're an important part of me now, they remind me of what I went through and remind me that I'm better and stronger now.

[Chaazza]

Hey

I used to hate my scars because they made me feel dirty and also ashamed but now they have faded a lot because they have become so old and I love them you can just see them but people who don't know that they are there can't see them and I feel like they are special to me and I love them more

Chaazza

[Magical Forest.]

I wish it could only be me that could see them. I kinda like them, they're almost a comfort thing, a reminder of the pain. I can glance at one and remember the exact moment I made it.

But its too much hassle when other people see them. I don't want to get questions or weird looks. Thankfully they're fading well now so you have to actually look for them to see them.

[DivingCheska]

Yes my scars do trigger me sometimes but I refuse to try and get rid of them because they are apart of me and they show me that my past is real and no matter how much I wanted to give up I never did and that although I cut it kept me here and I am thankful for that. My grandma thinks I'm proud of them but it's not that I'm proud of them I just think they are apart of me and if I were to take them away I wouldn't be me you know?

[athousandmiles]

For me, I love mine. Yes I hate when people ask and Im always worried someone will but when I look down and see them, I start to like that body part more. I spend a lot of my time hating what I look like and my scars help me feel pretty.