Triggering (SH): butterfly project causing old problem to come back.

[buttercup13]

I've been doing the butterfly project and its been helping me but today was a bad day and i felt so mad/sad and i went to cut myself but when i saw my butterflies i couldn't do it. In the end i grabbed a match and put it out on my foot then proceeded to do it twice more.. so I'm back to burning myself something i thought ended three years ago. I feel annoyed with myself.. two steps foward one step back

[Liz94]

You shouldn't feel annoyed at yourself. You are doing really well. Try doing the butterfly project on your feet ( once burns are healed just to be safe) as it has clearly worked for you which is a great thing.

Next time you want to burn yourself think back to this point, read this post even and remind yourself of how annoyed you felt, this will help you to beat the urge as you will be able to see that in the long run self harm doesn't help as judegement and clarity can be clouded when an urge to self harm arises.

Stay strong and keep fighting, you can and will get there.

X X

[Celestial.]

Hi Jessica.

The thing with recovery is that it's not always going to be smooth, or all positive. Sometines we slip up, and that's okay. It's good that the butterfly project has been working for you; although it's natural that it won't work for every urge, or every type of urge, so it's important to find other ways to keep yourself safe. As Elizabeth suggested, you could try drawing butterflies on your feet as well. Or you can find other distractions to help. What are some things you can try when you feel mad/sad?

I know that sometimes when you move away from one form of self harm, you accidentally push yourself towards another. It can be discouraging, sure, but it's something you can learn to deal with. You just have to work on redirecting your negative feelings into more productive pursuits, such as writing, running, even crying (since it's a healthier way to cope with painful emotions). Don't feel annoyed with yourself; just try to accept what's happened and move past it so you can continue with your recovery.

Good luck.