Triggering (SH): Guys make me wanna cut (please help)

[SM13]

It seems so terribly hopeless. Whenever I find a guy I like he always ends up liking some other girl and I'm always in the "just friends" zone. It makes me so sad and desperate and even though I'm trying so hard to stop (I'm going to see a psychologist) I end up doing it after days or weeks of resisting. The more I get depressed the more I cut and the more I cut the more depressed I get. It's an endless cycle and I hate being alone. I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I don't wanna be lonely and cutting forever but I don't know how to make it otherwise. Does anybody have any suggestions? Any help/advice is greatly appreciated.

[minniemouseprincess]

I think its great that you are going to see someone for your cutting. I also think once you start talking to your psychologist, things will get better for you. You guys will work out a way for you to stop cutting. Until then though, whenever you feel sad like that, talk to a friend or your parents, watch tv, take a shower, go on the computer, read, take a walk, do anything to distract yourself from SH. Excersise is a great way. Also writing=) Don't worry about finding a guy who likes you back. Nobody finds "the one" at 18. there will be many years of guys before you find the guy thats right for you. You're still really young. Im just a year younger than you and i've never had a real bf. Im perfectly fine=)

[SM13]

Thanks for responding. I've been seeing her for over 2 months now and ive gone from cutting every day to once every week or so but I still feel like a failure. And I'm scared I'll never get a guy because my ex told me that I better clean myself up soon cuz guys don't wanna be with girls who do this to themselves. He said I could scare away the perfect guy if I don't stop. Is he right?

[Total Light Storm]

Originally Posted by SM13

Thanks for responding. I've been seeing her for over 2 months now and ive gone from cutting every day to once every week or so but I still feel like a failure. And I'm scared I'll never get a guy because my ex told me that I better clean myself up soon cuz guys don't wanna be with girls who do this to themselves. He said I could scare away the perfect guy if I don't stop. Is he right?

No. He isn't right at all, I'm sorry he said that to you.
When you find the right guy, he will love you for you, not what you've done to your body. He will see past your mistakes and your issues with cutting and love the amazing person you are within.
I think it is great you are speaking to a psychologist and that it is helping you.
You can message me if you ever need anything.

[MadPoet]

Hey,

I can definitely understand how you feel. I often get sad and sometimes lonely because of guys, and the fact that I've never had a boyfriend before. But I really believe that there is someone out there for all of us. The people who wait the longest, I like to believe, are the ones who find someone truly worth waiting for. I know it can be hard to think that way, but try to stay optimistic. You never know who might come along. There are a lot of people in the same boat as you, including me.

Your ex was out of line in saying what he did to you, and what he said was definitely not true. The right person will love you regardless, and while they won't be happy with the fact that you hurt yourself, they won't leave you because of it. Besides, when it comes to recovering from self harm, you need to do it for yourself; no one else but you.

I wish you luck in your recovery, and I'm here if you ever need to talk. Keep your head up. Like I said, there is someone out there for all of us. =]

[SM13]

Ive been cut free for 21 days but I think today being valentines day might just do me in. I hate being all alone surrounded by happy couples.

[Gemma.]

If youve been cut free for 21 days then something is going right! Even if you cut today its not the end of the world. Many people understand why you would on a day like this coz lets face it, its always the couples that point out how happy they are, not single people! Maybe do something for yourself today, go for a walk? Read a book? Or anything else that you like?

[SM13]

I was looking forward to this morning cuz every year on valentines day my mom and dad put a little bit of chocolate at me and my brothers seat sty the kitchen table b4 we go to school but this year (the first year ever) they didn't do it cuz they said they just forgot about us its just making me feel like even more that nobody cares. Cuz even tho i don't have a bf anymore I was counting on mom and dad but now my day is not even good and im home sick. Ok I'll stop complaining now. Sry.

[Gemma.]

I cant believe they said they had forgotten about you! The whole point of these forums is to get things off your chest, so dont worry about complaining, in fact carry on if thats going to make you feel better. Did you tell your parents that you were counting on them? Maybe you should?

[SM13]

I feel mean now it turns out they were going to surprise me that night

[Gemma.]

I dont think thats mean, because you just didnt know. It didnt really help that they said they forgot about you, they could have said something slightly different. maybe? Im not sure

[SM13]

I didn't give in. I forced myself not to. Now it's been 24 days. But I still feel like such a failure because every day the temptation is there. Every day I wanna do it badly. it's like I can't ever escape even when I resist.

[Gemma.]

If you were a failure you would not be at 24 days now! Or 26?

[dani99]

Actually, to what was said earlier up there - it might be true that harming yourself will scare off a perfect guy /to an extent/. I guy will love you for you, but a guy isn't going to be around a girl who can't respect yourself. He'll probably try to help you if he's so perfect, though.

But no guy is worth you cutting. Get some help sweetie. It'll be ok.

[Total Light Storm]

That's great that you didn't give in!
Yes, it is hard to fight the urges, but it is definitely possible!
You can keep going!
We are all here if you need us.