Triggering (ED): triggering SH too i think.... but yeah.

[SoraKat]

Holy crap i forgot how much that hurt... afterwards... and i didnt even cut deep enough to bleed. Thats what 4 months without doing it on your wrist does to you i guess....

I was cleaning my bathroom and there is a huge mirror. The bathrooms a mess but everytime i look up i see myself... my gross disgusting self. My thoughts wouldnt stop calling me fat and ugly and disgusting to the point where i wanted to shout STOP! but i cant.

i whispered it and plugged my ears. But nothing could stop it.

so i went and grabbed a knife and made some slashes... but i tried not to go deep so it wouldnt bleed and scab over, but i accidentally made it bleed a tiny bit. I just needed SOME relief... not as much as would make me bleed i guess. Just the pain... which didnt come for a few minutes. Its starting to ebb away now...

I told myself i wouldnt let myself starve this week. I just couldnt do it.... I want to do that for my boyfriend and prove to myself that his wish for me to eat is larger than my want to be skinny in my eyes. I think thats why i turned to cutting so fast. My outlet before was STARVE TILL I FALL OVER... and as soon as i took that away i was stuck. stupid me.... stupid life. :P oh well. See i dont even feel depressed. Just a little... well worried that my boyfriend will ditch me. im telling him about the SH tomorrow.

so yeah...

[dantheman1992]

It seems this is your coping mechanism for your worry/stress or just to get over problems you occur with.. I've just come out of hospital and met plenty of people who SH in there everyone has differnt reasons.. my reasons I dont even know why I SH but From speaking to doctors and other people we just need to find another way to cope with it.. easier said then done though ay?

I hope you are okay and get through this the last few days I have been getting closer and closer to SH again or even a OD but I'm scared that I will have no limits this time, because once I have started I dont want to stop...

If you have a BF who cares about you and loves you, your lucky because I would kill to have someone in my life who is supportive and loving right now who understands me. You want to be skinny by the sounds of it, I dont know what you look like, but If you have your bf, who do you want to be skinny for? He sounds like he is happy with who you are and what you look like. Just be careful not to lose him or drive him away, thats why I did with my ex when i started SH, arrantly its selfish, I still have not agreed that its selfish as I just feel its me not in a right place.

If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me