Triggering (SH): Best friend cuts.

[onlyfoolingmyself]

So,I don't really know what to do..
My best friend started to cut and I finally,after 7 years,stopped. Whatever I tell him,he just says he can't stop. I really know the feeling,but I do NOT understand why he even started. He wondered how it'd feel like.. He was the one who helped me to stop. Everything's so wrong.. I am desperate,don't know what I should do. It hurts me and makes me angry.. It's even triggering but I have to stay strong.
I told him about the butterfly project but it failed. I showed him all the other things he can do when he feels like cutting. When he's sad I try to make him laugh.
Nothing works and I am honestly just tired,I want him to stop so badly. Maybe I am not trying hard enough ?
Once he said he wants to go.. meaning killing himself. I cried for hours,talked to him and he didn't do it. But now, every time he's sad I kinda freak out :/
The weird thing is that when he's around me,everything's just normal.. Back home he gets sad.

Can anyone tell me what I should do ?
Thanks x

[SM13]

Hey there,
I'm sorry that you are having to go through this with him, but being in the same situation myself (but on his end) having a friend to talk to is what gets me through the day. I'm not sure how serious he is about ending it, but when I say I want to my friend always reminds me how sad my family would be. Try having him watch the music video to the song Hold On by good charlotte. It helps me a lot. I know how tiring and frustrating it is to go through this with a friend, but please don't give up on him. If you need anything feel free to PM me.
~SM~

[onlyfoolingmyself]

Thanks, so I should just go on like that ?x
I won't give up on him. <3

[minniemouseprincess]

I'm sorry babe=( I've been through the same thing. Actually, i'm going through the same thing right now, BEEN going through it. I know how hard it is to see someone you love suffer like that. For 3 years, i've been trying to help my friend. It took SO much out of me to tell about her SH and her wanting to commit suicide. The morning before I told, I was histerical telling my mom I couldn't do it and when mom asked why I said "Kellie's gonna kill herself!!" and just cried more. It hurts terribly and it hurts even more because you want so much for them not to face that kind of pain. I've tried everything to constantly make her happy. I spoil her with presents, I send her funny pictures, I write her long messages just telling her im here and I love her, but she hasn't gotten better. At least from what i've seen. I went in recently again to talk about her cutting and the counceler said that this is a long process and even when someone is getting help for it, it could take a very long time for it to go into effect. With all this said, I DO think you should tell about your best friend. Tell mom and dad, a teacher, or a counceler. Please, coming from past experiences, telling is HUGELY important. You are holding their life in your hand. You may just be saving them, especially if he's thinking a lot about suicide. This is the BEST thing you can do for him right now hun. Other than that, just do what I do for my friend. Keep trying to make him as happy as you can and always let him know that you are there and you love him. That means so much for them to know they have someone who cares. And SM13 is VERY right and gave you some of the best advice ever, don't give up on him. Giving up on him is prob the worst you could do. Always be there, no matter how difficult. It is helping him to have you, even if it doesn't seem like it. You are an amazing friend babe, really you are. If you ever want to talk, I am here=)

[onlyfoolingmyself]

Thank you so much and I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the exact same thing.. 3 years ..wow. :x Can imagine how hard it has to be for you.

I'll never give up on him,no worries It's just so hard for me to see him suffering and I feel so helpless. He was the one who told ME to stop and now I am telling him.. Odd.
Dunno but I feel guilty. Maybe if I hadn't told him about SH he wouldn't have started with it at all..

[dontbetoopeaceful]

I had to stop my bestfriend jumping off the bridge outside my house last week, and she didnt because of me, He obviously cares about you if he got you to stop cutting, so remind him what it is doing to you inside too

[Kate*]

The tough part is that he has freewill over this, so you can only do so much for him. His not stopping isn't about the fact that you aren't trying hard enough, he's just not ready yet, as you already know, quitting can take years and sometimes it doesn't matter how much you do for someone, it's up to them to stop. Your anger is understandable, but he's doing it for some reason, even if you don't know what that is. If he's threatening suicide you need to tell someone so that he can get help.

[minniemouseprincess]

Originally Posted by onlyfoolingmyself

Thank you so much and I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the exact same thing.. 3 years ..wow. :x Can imagine how hard it has to be for you.

I'll never give up on him,no worries It's just so hard for me to see him suffering and I feel so helpless. He was the one who told ME to stop and now I am telling him.. Odd.
Dunno but I feel guilty. Maybe if I hadn't told him about SH he wouldn't have started with it at all..

Yeah, its been a long time, but i'm holding up okay. It used to be a lot rougher on me. Kinda like the way you feel now. It IS hard to watch and I am no stranger to the hopeless feeling ether. I feel that every time she's upset for any reason and whenever I see her scars. I looked at her arm from kinda far away today because her sleeves were up for the first time in a while and thankfully, I didn't see anything. But I won't feel totally comforted until she isn't wearing long sleeves anymore=( And hun, don't feel guilty. He isn't SHing because of you. He has things going on that he feels he can't handle. Thats why he's doing it. You aren't the reason. Never were the reason. Its good you told someone about your SHing. I would have gone to my best friend about it too if I was.