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My friend needs help and I'm trying to heal - February 12th 2012, 02:46 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My friend is beginning to cut. I'm trying to heal after a year and a half of cutting. I try to get her to talk to our school counselor, because she has really helped me, but she won't get help. I tell her if she doesn't get help soon, it's eventually going to take over a life of it's own and she wont be able to control it anymore. I know. I was there. I was sent to a mental hospital as well. And I care about her and don't want to see her go through this. I don't want her to have to learn the hard way like I did. When she does it, not only is she hurting herself, but when she talks about it, it's triggering to me too and I'm trying to heal. What should I do?
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Re: My friend needs help and I'm trying to heal - February 12th 2012, 03:27 AM

Hi Cassidy,

I know it can be hard having a friend that cuts when you are trying to recover from self harm yourself.
I think the best things you can do for her are to keep encouraging her and letting her know you will be there for her, do things for yourself when you feel triggered and if you feel it would help her, you could link her to the alternatives thread.
Hopefully there she will find many distractions to help her when she is triggered and wanting to cut.
Also, try speaking to your school counselor and asking her if she has any ideas on how to help your friend, maybe not mention your friends name, unless you feel it is necessary, just tell her you are trying to help a friend while you are still recovering and that you are finding it difficult. Maybe she has some suggestions about what you can do to help your friend and yourself.
Also, if your friend's self harm is getting you really worried, you can tell the counselor and she can help her, sometimes to get people help you may have to risk friendship. This is hard to do but you know where she is at right now and you know because you've been there how bad self harm can get. If getting an adult involved is necessary, you speaking out for the safety of your friend may be the next step to take.
I really hope this reply helps you and I'm always available for a message if you ever need me.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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Re: My friend needs help and I'm trying to heal - February 12th 2012, 05:24 AM


I know how tough that can be, I was in the same situation. All you can do is try to help and be there but only if it's not bothering you! You can't help somebody if it gets in the way of your own healing. You have to do what's best for you first, so if that means stepping out of that relationship, then you might have too (i did). If you feel you have to go that route, make sure you tell her why, so it doesn't seem like you are just abandoning her!

Also, if she won't get help, maybe you should go to the counselor and tell her yourself. I realize that might seem like a "bad," option. But your friend needs to get help and somebody (an adult) needs to be aware about what she is doing to herself. If you don't want to do that though, then at least tell your counselor you have a "friend" that cuts but you don't want to give any names and see what she says.

Best of luck to both you you!

all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

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Re: My friend needs help and I'm trying to heal - February 12th 2012, 06:32 AM

Yes, like Sammie said, go to the counceler yourself if your friend won't go. I've been in the same situation and it is SO much better if someone knows. It will help your friend if you go hun. But in the meantime, keep trying to work on her and get her to go. You could even go with her if that would make her feel better.

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