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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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dani99 Offline
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Exclamation I've stopped for so long, but feeling tempted to start again? - February 14th 2012, 01:00 AM

I haven't hurt or harmed or done anything bad to myself since I was like 14 and I'm 16 now. Lately, though, it feels like my life is spirling out of control and I feel like I have no grasp on it. Like I have no the least bit of control. I've made a sole promise to my boyfriend that I wouldn't do it, and my mom said if she ever finds out I started it again she's sending me back to a mental hospital for longer than I was in there the first time.

I can't help it. It takes everything to resist hurting myself. I cry myself at night and I hurt so much, and I remember how I assuaged my pain in the past by writing one word that I felt by carving it into my skin or just one slice to draw blood.

I've felt like this for a little over a month and I'm trying to keep my promise to my boyfriend and just not do it. But little do most people I know and love know, it's such a hard thing to do.

Lately, I've been substituting cutting with slapping myself for a few seconds until my face is blood red. But that doesn't feel as good as cutting. I don't want to start again, but I just want the pain to stop.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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Re: I've stopped for so long, but feeling tempted to start again? - February 14th 2012, 03:02 AM

Hey,

I get what you are going through, I've been in the same boat recently. Just remember how strong you are and how far you've come! You don't need to cut, it doesn't make the pain stop. You need to get to the root of your problems and work through it in a healthy manner, only then will the pain truly go away! I know how hard it can be to get through though!

Could you possibly tell your mom that your depressed and that you think you would benefit from seeing a therapist? I think that would be a good idea! You don't have to tell her about the urges to cut but letting her know something is better than nothing!

Just let people know what's going on so that they can support you through this rough patch your going through! You can get through this! If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to PM me!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
dani99 Offline
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Re: I've stopped for so long, but feeling tempted to start again? - February 14th 2012, 03:41 AM

I do tell my mom. She tells me that I bring my depression and anxiety on my own self. That it's my fault for feeling that way and that I wouldn't feel that way if I didn't think so negitively which I've tried to be optimistic about thing, but it's like I can't help being a pessimist. :/


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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xxprincessxx Offline
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Name: Sammie
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Re: I've stopped for so long, but feeling tempted to start again? - February 14th 2012, 05:02 AM

Hmm, have you ever tried explaining this to another adult? Like for instance a school counselor, who could explain it to your mom from a professional standpoint?


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
dani99 Offline
Ms.Average
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Name: Danielle
Age: 23
Gender: Girly girl <3
Location: Down in the south

Posts: 513
Join Date: February 11th 2012

Re: I've stopped for so long, but feeling tempted to start again? - February 15th 2012, 01:45 AM

The last time I told my school counsoler she had me arranged to go to a mental hospital which didn't help very much and also just cost a lot of money anyways.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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