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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Self harming. - February 15th 2012, 12:37 AM

I started self-harming a few years ago, and ever since then i just haven't been able to stop. It's like an addiction. I tell myself that i'm going to stop, then as soon as something bad happens i do it again. How will i be able to get over this, and stop for good?

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Re: Self harming. - February 15th 2012, 12:53 AM

Hi there.

Firstly, it's great that you have come to us here at Teenhelp for some support and advice and I hope that we can help you in some way.

You haven't said an awful lot about the self harming in respects to why you do it, why you feel it helps, what you feel you get out of it or whether there are any triggers etc. If you don't want to tell us, then that is okay and there's no pressure to do so. However it might help us understand you a little more making the advice we give you more beneficial for you which of course, is what we want.

It's often that a person self harms for a more in-depth reason and therefore it's more about working through the underlying issue of the self harm in order to help stop the self harming.

I think there are many things which can help a person through recovery of self harm. The first thing is is you have to want to stop. If you don't want to stop, I don't think you are going to. You have to really want it. And then you have to be determined and work really god damn hard because like you said, it can become an addiction and I can relate to that feeling. And I know how hard it is. It's hard work love. It's going to take effort and time but if you have the determination to do this, then you can and will beat it.

Something which is helpful for some people is going in to therapy/counseling. Even just having someone to talk to can be helpful for us. But considering this sounds like it's been an on-going issue, this might be something you want to consider if you haven't already. There are different things you can do, counseling, CBT work, DBT work, psychotherapy which tends to be used more for people struggling with PTSD etc so I guess it all depends on you, your symptoms and what you feel would be best for you as well as what can be provided to you where you live. To go around this, I would suggest you talking to your doctor who might be able to refer you to someone or suggest how you go on to get further help. Of course if you wanted to do it privately that can also be an option. Saying all of this, again, a lot of hard work has to be put in to therapy. You have to work with the person who is helping you, work hard in the sessions but also take what you learn in your sessions in to the time outside of the sessions and put it in to action.

I honestly believe doing social things benefits upon your mental health too. If you feel low, going out and meeting people even when you don't feel like it and don't want to and when it can feel a really hard thing to face and do, can really help. Isolating yourself isn't going to help. I don't know if this is an issue for you though.

Have you tried using alternatives to self harm? If not you could take a look at that link. Not everything is going to help you so it is all about trial and error and not giving up when you come across something which doesn't help you. Keep on trying new things.

Ultimately, as hard as it is, the only person who can stop you from self harming is yourself. Which is why it is hard work. It takes a lot of will power, strength, time and determination but ultimately, it is down to you because you're in control of your actions. Believe in yourself, stick at it, get help if you feel that will be beneficial to you and work hard and you will beat this. It is possible.

You're not alone in this. It's great you have come to us and we're here for you. Keep on fighting through it. You can beat this, believe in yourself.

Take good care,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Self harming. - February 16th 2012, 03:30 AM

Hey I hope you are doing ok. I'm in the process of trying to recover too (22 days) Jessie is right about what she said. Especially that you need to want to quit. It's hard and can take a long time to finally get to that point but once you do things start looking a bit better. For the longest time I knew I needed to quit but I just didn't want to even tho my family was worried sick about me. Now that I actually would like to be cut free it's like having a motivation. I really hope that teen help is good for you. If you need anything or would just like to talk feel free to PM me.
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