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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Tapanga Paige Offline
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Name: Rikki Heyman
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Hate - February 15th 2012, 04:29 AM

The one person who is never supposed to hurt you will. What if the one person who is supposed to dry your tears is the one who made you cry? There are a lot of horrible things in this world and a lot more horrible people, why is it I can't seem to hate any of it more than I hate myself? I'm always going to be alone, never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. None of these things I can control, so I cut, I control one thing. I have the ability to make the pain become more than just inside. I can wipe the slate of all the hate away with one smooth cut. Is it so wrong?

<3 RAWR<3
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Re: Hate - February 15th 2012, 05:03 AM

A lot of people feel this way, I do/have as well. It's very easy to feel alone in a room full of people, and it's just as likely the people in that room feel the same as you do. I want you to know that the eye will lie to you about yourself simply because it is controlled by a self-loathing brain. You are most likely blind to your beauty, worth, and knowledge because you're too filled with hate.

Regarding self harm, many people say the same about drugs - "it's just a plant, how can it hurt?" Well, like drugs there are serious consequences for SH, you could go into shock, bleed profusely, get fatal infections including HIV and even die from any of those things. Also, like drugs, it has a high risk of addiction and that's not something easy to live with for anyone.

Last edited by WhoAmI?; February 16th 2012 at 01:48 AM. Reason: Posting from phone and it posted before I finished typing
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Re: Hate - February 15th 2012, 02:52 PM

I too am filled with the same hate. It is unbearable sometimes. But if somebody is hurting u or putting u down u should tell somebody about it. They have no right to do that to you. I know it's easier said than done but it is worth a try. It won't always make the person stop but a lot of times it will. It is also good to talk to a trusted person to get stuff off of your chest. Something my best friend says to me when I say or think bad things about myself is that for every bad thing you find in yourself you need to recognize three good ones. There are deffinately enough in you. One is that you are smart enuf to come here to try to get help
About the cutting. It is a good releas in the moment of doing it, but what helps me when I want to cut really bad is I think about negative affects it has:
1) it may feel good doing it but after there is always guilt and more self hatred
2) if I do it then I'll have scars and summer is around the corner
3) the more I do it the more dependent I become
4) it is an endless cycle. The more depressed the more I cut and the more I cut the mote depressed I am.
5) it makes those around you sad to know that you re struggling with this.
6) it is harmful to the mind and body
7) look at the alternatives to cutting that are on this site.
I hope this helps. If you ever need anything please PM me.
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