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Name: Tori
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My messed up thoughts..... - February 22nd 2012, 02:01 AM

I've been cutting for almost 4 years and i have barely any scars. i should be happy right? wrong.....that upsets me. i want to go deeper and i want scars. it's like im jealous of people with scars. cutting has transferred from a way of dealing with problems to an obsession with my scaring my body....except i feel weak and have a low pain tolerance which is why i don't go deeper and that's why i don't scar. i know that no one can give me advice on how to go deeper, i'm not looking for that. i just want to clear up my thoughts and try to figure out why i'm so obsessed with scarring my body and why i'm jealous of other peoples scars. :/
   
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Re: My messed up thoughts..... - February 22nd 2012, 02:58 AM

i know that you probably don't want to hear this, but you are soooooooo lucky that you DON'T have scars, trust me. if you want something similar to that but in a safe way, you could maybe try drawing wherever you want scars with a sharpie marker. that probably sounds stupid, but i hope it helps
   
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Re: My messed up thoughts..... - February 22nd 2012, 03:09 AM

thanks. i know i should be glad i don't scar, or the few i do have fade after like a year or sooner but i guess im just looking at it as i dont scar because im not going deep enough, im not going deep enough because im too weak, i hate myself because im weak, i cut because i hate myself. its a vicious cycle :/
   
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