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xxprincessxx Offline
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Name: Sammie
Age: 27
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Considering Telling About It.... - February 25th 2012, 01:56 AM

I haven't actually cut in almost five months but I've been really really triggered to do so for the last few weeks because of how crappy I've been feeling. But I was talking to somebody today about some things and he basically told me "you have to worth through whatevers going on and even though it might hurt to talk about it, you need too."

I really want to tell him and one of my really close friends about the feelings but I really don't know how or if I for sure want to do this yet. I know that he would more than likely have to report it to the campus counselor, which is going to suck majorly. It happened last year (because of a suicide attempt) and basically she told me that if something like that happened, I was going to have to go the hospital, which is dumb because I haven't done and I'm not anywhere close to suicidal. I really wish I could tell him without this fear...I'm also worried that she's going to ban me from talking to him because she "needs" to be the one to do it. She didn't help me last time and I don't money to see a different therapist, she's free...it's funny because the person that I'm talking to now is the one who has gotten me this far, which is so much better than I have been for the past six year...if that gets taken away from me, I don't know what would happen.

As for the friend, she'd probably threaten to tell him if I didn't....so either way I'd be screwed. I don't know if I can get through this urges by myself though.


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Philomath Offline
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Re: Considering Telling About It.... - February 25th 2012, 03:17 AM

Hi Sammie,

It is great you want to tell him. I really think you should.
Yes, the counselor may have to get involved, but if you tell her you are not suicidal and that you haven't hurt yourself, I don't think it would make much sense of her to make you go to the hospital.
I may be interpreting what she said wrong, but to me it is as if she said if you attempted suicide again that you would have to go, not that if you had the urges again.
I really hope you tell him, or your other friend, you need support and they seem like really great people for you to talk to and very supportive.
Let me know how things end up for you, k?
You are really cared about and no one wants to see you conflicted in this way.
Take care.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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