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anonymouslola Offline
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Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 05:57 AM

Okay, I'm sorry to ask this, but it's always on my mind.
My sister used to cut herself a lot. Now, trust me, I waited, tried talking out her feelings, I did everything, but she wouldn't stop. As a last resort, I basically sat her in a chair and made her watch as I did it to myself. I also checked her body routinely for any signs of cuts each night. She did eventually stop, but did I do the right thing? Was it too drastic? It was really for her benefit, but sometimes I think she hates me. I feel like a horrible person just typing it out, but I couldn't help her and I didn't want her to hurt herself. Has the fact that she stopped justified my actions?
   
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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 06:27 AM

Wow that was a bold thing to do. But i think if my sibling had sat me down and hirt themselves like me i would realize im not only hurting me but my family and stop which sounds like thats what she tought too. If shes stopped cutting thats a great thing. I think you took your role as a sibling and helped her the only way you could think of when words werent enough
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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 06:35 AM

In this case, the ends do not justify the means. You could have seriously hurt yourself, or traumatize your sister. I mean, she did stop. But, you really shouldn't take actions like that.
   
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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 08:21 AM

You really took actions are stronger than words to heart didn't you?
I think you should talk to her, and tell her it was hurting you having you watch her harm herself. Just tell her you'll always be there for her. Of course it could have been solved other ways, but you are only one person and you were desperate to make her stop self harming, theres only so much you could do. She will thank you one day.
   
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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 08:47 AM

Hey,

I think thats a very bold way of showing someone, and it may have helped her to stop and have shown her but I don't know whether it was the best way.
You obviously care so much about her, and i would suggest that you keep helping her but in healthy ways, just support her and make sure she knows that you are there for her.
If you ever want/need to talk, feel free to PM me,

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Charli


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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 08:52 AM

Hey there

Honestly, it depends on your sister. How she perceived it. Not us. Every person is different and understands, sees things differently. I think what you need to do here is talk to your sister about it. Let her know how you feel. Maybe write a letter or just show this post to her. You both need to talk about it so that you can get it off your chest. It is troubling you a lot, talking about it will make you feel very better. We can all tell you how we might have felt about it. And some people will tell you that they won't really like it which will make you feel worse. It is best that you try to find out how your sister feels about it. She too might be keeping in how she feels about it and like you she too might have some questions and some things to say. It could just be thanking you for all you know. But you won't find out till you talk to her

I hope that helps you.
If you need anything, or just someone to talk to, let me know
Take care.



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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 09:43 AM

Hi There--

I understand your reasoning but I think you overlooked somethings. Did you consider how this makes your sister feel because she may have been triggered while you were cutting some people do get triggered that way. Another thing is that you have to consider her emotional state after seeing her sister cut she is going to be upset and she going to cut to relieve that pain. I fully understand why you did that and its great that you care but maybe next time you should try telling your parents or something because you could have hurt yourself!!

I hope that you and your sister are okay. Both of your BE SAFE!

Maybe you should recommend that she some here to TeenHelp. That may help to.


Stay Strong!
   
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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 5th 2012, 10:41 PM

I really think that this was not the right thing to do.
She may have stopped but what for? Did she stop because she knew you would check her for new cuts every day and because she didn't want to hurt you by hurting herself or did she stop because she realized the dangers of cutting and because she actually wanted to stop?

Either way, you will not know until you talk to her about how what you did to try and help her has affected her.
I really hope, that if you find out she is hurting herself again that you will tell your parents and let them get her help instead of taking such drastic measures.
I encourage people to help each other however, putting yourself and your sister in danger is not the way to go at all.
I think you should discuss this whole situation with your parents so that they can get you both help with the things going on here.
I really hope this helps and you can send me a message if you ever need anything.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Did I do the right thing? - March 6th 2012, 12:43 AM

Although your concern for your sister is understandable and admirable, your way of going about expressing that..by hurting yourself in her presence...was the wrong way of going about it. You made yourself the issue there, instead of her and her own S/I. And, it's most unlikely that she can understand your message...behaviors aren't the most effective way of expressing complicated thoughts or emotions or requests...like worry or concern or self control.

So, I'd strongly recommend you roll this one back and go talk with her directly about your real concerns about her behavior, and let her know some caring adult needs to know so you can both get some help..and then do that.
   
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